Category: Journal Entry

Personal reflections inspired by prompts or life events. This is a digital journal you wander into, unfiltered and uncensored. Honest, trauma-dumping, and deeply personal moments captured in writing.

  • The Hikers Ultimate Guide to Trail Etiquette:

    The Hikers Ultimate Guide to Trail Etiquette:


    Best For:

    Rookie hikers just discovering the woods have an unwritten rule book, hikers who wish to learn trail culture, Appalachian whimsical wonderers, Leave No Trace learners, content creators navigating shared spaces, and anyone who has ever walked onto a trail and immediately wondered what the rules were.

    Man in pale green shorts, green and orange croc junipers, black T-shirt, and pink hair with a beard exhales smoke from his dab pen towards a woman in black hiking shoes, black shorts, and a blue t-shirt there is a cloud of smoke between them.

    The Vault:

    • Trail etiquette a social contract not a court of law.
    • Safety beats ego, every time.
    • Rules are defaults & not universal laws.
    • Local culture & terrain change things up.
    • Leave No Trace goes far beyond litter.
    • Most trail conflict starts with poor awareness.

    The Unwritten Rule Book:

    Trail etiquette gets talked about online like somebody carved ten new hiking commandments into a stone tablet and dropped them beside a trailhead kiosk. Yield uphill, stay on trail, keep noise down. Pack out your trash, and do not bother wildlife.

    Simple, right?

    Maybe, until you actually go hiking.

    Suddenly you’re standing on a muddy incline while a trail runner appears behind you at concerning speed, somebody’s off-leash dog named Moose believes personal space is a government conspiracy, and a horse is approaching while you’re trying to remember whether you’re supposed to step uphill, downhill, freeze in place, or simply evaporate into the forest.

    This is where things begin coming apart at the seams.

    Trail etiquette isn’t a list of wilderness law; it is closer to environmental science, social awareness, safety, regional culture, physics, and human behavior all crashing together on a sliver of dirt through the woods.

    Man with a beard wears jeans, a black sweater, and a black hat on sits on top of large boulder with the peace sign up.

    The rules matter, though what matters more is understanding why those rules exist and the reality of the never-ending exceptions.

    That is where most new hikers get blindsided. Oh did I mention you have no teacher of the unwritten rule book. There is no mentor to explain the nuance flips either. All while no one has even mentioned to you that tiny fairy houses, Bluetooth speakers, and dog poop bags somehow can become topics capable of launching full-scale outdoor debates.

    So let’s try to fix that.


    The Right‑of‑Way:

    The first thing many hikers learn after they hear of hiking etiquette is that uphill hikers get the right of way.

    The reasoning behind this makes sense, climbing takes more effort. Stopping halfway up a steep incline can destroy rhythm and force somebody to restart momentum with legs that are already questioning their life choices.

    One of the least discussed trail secrets is that uphill hikers are not typically not that annoyed when they get to stop. A lot of times they are actually thrilled.

    You just gave them a socially acceptable excuse to stand still for fifteen seconds or longer and they get to pretend they were “letting you through” instead of negotiating a peace treaty with their lungs.

    Yes, many experienced hikers even joke about this unofficial phenomenon. Someone climbing may make eye contact, smile, step aside, and wave you through. This is what we will call the Oxygen Break Fake-Out.

    Man in black hat, glasses, grey shorts, and black t-shirt sitting on a wooden bench on trail with a brown APBT in front is bare trees. Ultimate hiking guide.

    The move here is simple, just accept the offer, and make sure you say thank you. It is best to keep it moving here; do not create one of those painful wilderness politeness standoffs where both people repeatedly insist the other go first. Y’all sound like middle school girls trying to “no you hangup” their first boyfriends to death.

    We are definitely not getting any younger and this is slowly aging us in real time.

    This rule flips in more serious ways too. Let me paint you an image, I want you to imagine that someone descending has a heavy overnight pack. Now add in some wet roots, mud, loose gravel, or even narrow footing.

    Stopping suddenly for this hiker is not a small inconvenience. When you wear a heavy pack your center of gravity changes, as does your momentum. Your knees will suddenly begin filing complaints with upper management, they might even call Human Resources.

    The move is always safety first.

    Trail etiquette exists to reduce problems, not create them. Nobody receives a trophy for technically following right-of-way while sliding sideways into a bush or by demanding they be let go first since they are moving up hill yet you’re wearing a pack double your weight.


    The Multi‑Use Trail Matrix:

    Shared-use trails create some of the biggest instances of confusion in hiking culture. Now we are incorporating multiple forms of movement, speed, and trail use that are all trying to occupy the same space.

    Textbook rules usually simplify things by saying mountain bikes yield to hikers, and hikers and bikes yield to horses. On paper, of course that sounds clean, organized, and easy to memorize. In reality, trails are not flat sidewalks, and once terrain enters the equation, things become much more complicated.

    Mountain bikes create one of the biggest areas of confusion because many hikers assume a bike can simply stop the second another person appears ahead. Yet the truth is that technical trail riding does not always work in that manner. Riders may be descending steep grades while navigating exposed roots, loose gravel, muddy switchbacks, narrow corridors, blind turns, or rock gardens with limited visibility.

    Did you know that on difficult terrain, suddenly braking when riding a mountain bike, is not always a simple action? Locking your brakes can cause skidding, damage the trail surface, destroyed traction, or even end up sending the riders over the handlebars.

    That does not suddenly mean mountain bikers own the trail or that hikers should launch themselves into nearby vegetation every time a set of handlebars appear in the distance. This just means that physics occasionally changes the conversations we have.

    The move here is predictability. If durable ground or a safe place to stand exists nearby, make your movement obvious and early rather than waiting until the last second and making a panic decision. One of the fastest ways to create confusion is when both people suddenly begin trying to guess what the other person intends to do.

    Hikers sidestep.

    Riders adjust.

    Then hikers readjust.

    Clear blue skies and leaf bare trees behind a Caucasian man in a black hat with a brown thermal long sleeved shirt.

    Suddenly everyone is performing an accidental wilderness dance routine nobody agreed to participate in. Making a clear movement creates less confusion and often times less risk.

    Horses:

    Horse etiquette somehow gets even messier because many hikers hear one repeated instruction over and over: always step downhill.

    People repeat it like it’s a sacred wilderness law, but experienced riders will often tell you the same thing instead, just ask first. Horses are prey animals, and different horses react differently to people, gear, movement, dogs, and other surroundings.

    When one horse may want you uphill where it can clearly see you; the next horse may prefer you to stay downhill. Some horses calm down if you speak so they recognize you as a person, while others react better to stillness and space.

    The move with horses is simple and easy, you just let the rider guide the interaction. The riders typically understand their horse’s behavior better than a generalized sign or internet rule ever could. While horses are incredible animals, they are also fully capable of deciding that trekking poles, backpacks, rain jackets, or the wrong leaf moving in the wind are evidence of woodland sorcery.

    Respecting the rider’s instructions creates safer interactions for everyone involved.


    Groups & the Ego vs Eco Debate:

    Large groups change the trail experience in ways many hikers do not immediately think about. Most people notice the obvious differences first: more voices, more footsteps, and a larger physical presence moving through the woods.

    These groups also create larger social and environmental footprints. This is where trail etiquette starts becoming more complicated than simply asking who should step aside.

    The textbook version of trail etiquette usually says larger groups should yield to solo hikers or smaller parties. This reasoning seems straightforward, one organized unit moving together should theoretically have an easier time making space than forcing a single person to weave through a moving train of people, trekking poles, backpacks, and canine companions.

    Man in grey tank top and khaki shorts sits ontop of a concrete square opening to the tunnel “Hell hole” Columbus.

    It sounds efficient, maybe even polite. Reality tends to be much messier.

    Imagine you’re on a narrow trail cutting through wildflowers, soft soil, moss, or fragile vegetation. If a group of twelve hikers all step off trail at once so one person can pass, what initially looks like good etiquette can accidentally create environmental damage.

    Trails do not suddenly widen overnight. Trail widening usually begins through repeated small moments exactly like this. All it takes is one boot that leaves the hardened path, then another, and another.

    Over time, these tiny destructive decisions repeated hundreds of times create entirely new paths where none were meant to exist.

    Suddenly the question changes. Instead of asking, Who should move? We should be asking, What creates the least impact?

    In some situations, one solo hiker stepping onto a large rock, gravel patch, or durable surface creates far less environmental disturbance than moving an entire group off the trail. What initially looked like breaking etiquette can actually become the more responsible and future friendly choice for nature.

    This becomes even more noticeable with school groups, youth programs, guided hikes, and even scout troops. These large organized groups do not always move with the same awareness or flexibility as smaller hiking parties. Their leaders may be managing younger hikers, keeping people together, monitoring safety, or making sure nobody accidentally disappears down the wrong trail because they saw an interesting mushroom fifteen feet into the woods. In these situations, forcing a complicated passing situation may create confusion for everyone involved.

    Nelson-Kennedy Ledges, August 2025
    Nelson Kennedy Ledges Summer 2025

    The move here is understanding that etiquette is not about ego, proving who technically has the right-of-way, or who has more claim to the trail at a given moment.

    The goal is and should always be minimizing impact while keeping movement safe and manageable. Sometimes that means the group shifts, other times the solo hiker moves, and others still have everyone pause for a few seconds and use their common sense.

    Once enough people enter the equation, etiquette quietly stops becoming a traffic rule and starts becoming environmental math.


    The Sonic Landscape:

    There are very few topics on trails that can create an argument faster than the talk surrounding noise pollution. Obviously people go into nature for wildly different reasons, and these reasons shape how they experience sound in the outdoors.

    Some people hike for silence because they are trying to disconnect from work, notifications, traffic, and the endless background noise that follows modern life everywhere else. Other people watch birds while listening for their specific calls and movement. A lot of people are processing grief, mental health, hardships, stress, or major life events. Then there are those who just want to hear wind through trees or water moving over rock without interruption.

    For many hikers, the natural soundscape itself is part of the destination, and your music is ruining it, honestly.

    That is exactly why the Bluetooth speaker debate starts dumpster fires in hiking communities almost immediately. To one person, low-volume music during a hike may feel harmless. Yet the next person asked , may not agree. They say it can feel like somebody unexpectedly dragged them out of the woods and back where they didn’t want to be.

    The frustration often is not just the sound itself. It is that one person’s choices suddenly alter the atmosphere for everyone else sharing the space. It is also overwhelming or even overstimulating for neurodivergent people who may feel like this is the only place they can exist without the overstimulation.

    Reality complicates this too because silence is not universally safer. In areas with dense vegetation, limited visibility, or large wildlife populations, hikers sometimes intentionally make noise.

    Man I’m socks, sandals, bright blue short, black t-shirt, and black square glasses stanfds under a recess cave in NC.

    In bear country, for instance people may call out, talk regularly, clap occasionally, sing the entire trail over but not carry a tune or even announce their presence so wildlife hears them long before an encounter happens. Surprising large animals at close range can create dangerous situations, so sound becomes a safety tool rather than a disturbance. Context changes everything.

    The move here is awareness rather than absolute rules, like we have seen in most cases with trail etiquette.

    Understand where you are, who is around you, and what purpose sound is serving. Safety noise and personal entertainment are not the same thing automatically, though they can be. One earbud, bone-conduction headphones, or lowering volume around others often become middle-ground solutions because they allow people to enjoy audio without turning the trail into a moving soundtrack nobody else agreed to join.


    Four-Legged Chaos:

    Dog conversations on trails also are known for becoming emotional quickly since most everyone seems to believe their situation is the exception. Most dog owners genuinely love their animals as well as seeing them as companions, family members, and trail partners. That part all understandable. The problems begin when personal familiarity starts replacing situational awareness.

    Brown & White APBT sits on a Wooden armchair in Granville, Ohio at Spring Valley Nature Preserve - Bully Breeds

    Almost every regular hiker has heard some version of the phrase: “Don’t worry, my dog is friendly.” The issue is that friendly does not automatically equal appropriate. Friendly dogs are still known to jump on people, run ahead around blind turns, chase wildlife, startle children, approach reactive dogs, and create stressful situations for strangers. The dog owner understands the dog’s personality. The stranger does not and the reactive dog doesn’t have to stay home because you’re not willing to be considerate of everyone else (including your dog).

    This creates one of hiking culture’s biggest disconnects because people often interpret hesitation personally. Someone stepping away from a dog may not dislike dogs at all. They may have allergies, trauma, cultural differences, fear from previous experiences, or simply not want interaction.

    Etiquette becomes less about whether a dog means well and more about recognizing that strangers did not consent to the interaction.

    There is also the mystery of dog waste bags. Somehow trail systems across the world developed a strange phenomenon where people bag dog waste, carry it briefly, and then typically they will leave colorful little plastic packages beside trails intending to retrieve them later.

    Luna the Red-Nosed American Pitbull smiling and standing in the stream at Indian Falls in Dublin, Ohio

    Some absolutely do come back for them, others forget, and the rest may even leave them on purpose. Either way, hikers collectively seem united on one thing: nobody enjoys finding surprise poop ornaments decorating the forest floor.


    Trail Runners & Surprise Encounters:

    Trail runners and hikers can occasionally operate like two neighboring countries with different customs trying to share the same roads. Neither group is inherently wrong, but their movement styles create very different expectations.

    Hikers often settle into slower rhythms. They stop for photos, look at plants, examine mushrooms, pause at overlooks, and maybe even smoke some devils lettuce. Trail runners move differently, usually working to build momentum, maintain pace, and often cover ground quickly.

    Caucasian man shirtless and tattooed sits on a large rock in a cave located in red river gorge Powell county Ky

    This difference creates one of the most common surprise encounters on trails: sudden passing situations. Many hikers can think of Calista one instance that the experience of quietly enjoying a trail only to hear “on your left” from somewhere directly behind them moments before a runner appears. It removes approximately six months from a person’s life expectancy in the moment.

    Most of the tension here is not actually about speed, but exists in the surprise. Humans generally dislike unexpected movement entering personal space, especially in environments where awareness is focused ahead rather than behind. Runners sometimes feel frustration when hikers wear headphones or block trail flow. Hikers complain they sometimes feel startled or rushed. However, both trail experiences can exist at once.

    Good etiquette here is surprisingly simple. Runners benefit from announcing themselves early and slowing slightly when approaching crowded or narrow sections. Hikers help by remaining predictable and allowing space when possible. Nobody needs to leap into vegetation or perform emergency evasive maneuvers. Shared movement works best when people stop treating every pass like a tactical military operation.


    Content Creator Etiquette:

    Modern trails are now increasingly including individuals with cameras, tripods, drones, phones, action cams, and creators who document outdoor experiences. Hiking and content creation now overlap constantly, which means entirely new etiquette questions have appeared alongside them. Years ago people argued about dogs and speakers. Now people argue about filming, staging shots, and whether a trail overlook can temporarily become somebody’s production set.

    Most people do not care if someone stops for a quick photo. The tension usually begins when content creation starts changing the experience around other people. We see that when tripods are left blocking narrow sections, repeated takes occupying popular viewpoints make a bottleneck in trail movement, stepping into fragile vegetation for better angles, flying drones in areas where they disturb wildlife, and more visitors can quickly create frustration.

    Caucasian man with pink hair, square black sunglasses, a black tank top and facial piercings stands in a lush green forest.

    The issue usually is not documentation itself. It is scale and impact. There is a major difference between capturing your experience and unintentionally turning shared spaces into temporary film sets. Most conflicts happen when people stop noticing how much space they are taking up physically or socially.

    The move is actually simple, create with awareness, take all the photos you need, record your memories, document the experiences, but please also remember the trail remains a shared space before it becomes content.


    The Artifact Problem:

    Tiny objects somehow create enormous arguments in outdoor communities. Fairy houses, painted rocks, hidden trinkets, tiny doors attached to trees, tree carvings, trail signs vandalized with permanent markers, memorial decorations, and miniature woodland surprises tend to divide hikers almost immediately. Some people see joy, creativity, and community. Others see clutter, future litter, and a lack of care.

    The reason these debates become so intense is because they sit directly in the middle of one of hiking culture’s oldest tensions: human expression versus preserving wild spaces. Leave No Trace principles generally discourage introducing objects into nature because individual actions repeated over time create cumulative impact. One tiny object becomes ten. Ten become fifty. Suddenly an area begins changing.

    Dundee Falls Trail Tree carving

    Neither reaction appears from nowhere. The person who finds wonder in a tiny fairy tucked into a tree and the person who finds feelings of frustration about human additions entering wild places can both genuinely care about nature. They simply envision different relationships with it.

    Somehow, against all logic, tiny woodland decorations repeatedly become capable of launching full-scale debates with enough energy to sustain hiking forums for weeks.


    Appalachia & Regional Trail Culture:

    Trail etiquette changes depending on where you hike because trails develop cultures just like communities do. Appalachia especially carries its own personality. Hiking through parts of the Appalachian region often feels different from heavily trafficked parks or fast-moving outdoor destinations because there is a stronger social culture woven into many trail systems.

    We even tend to greet strangers more frequently, having full conversations at overlooks, and passing information about trail conditions happens casually.

    light purple haired tattooed man stands in knee deep blue green water in the pool of a small slot canyon waterfall, shirtless in green shorts surrounded by cliff walls

    Someone may tell you about a washed-out section ahead, ask where you are from, or warn you about a snake near the next bend. There can be a stronger feeling that trails operate as shared community space rather than simply routes from point A to point B.

    That does not mean everyone wants long conversations or that every Appalachian trail magically becomes a family reunion. Still local culture matters. Trail etiquette is not only rules and environmental guidance; It is also learning the social languages of the locals in these places.

    The mountains, like people, tend to have personalities of their own.


    Feral Hikers Etiquette:

    The biggest misunderstanding about trail etiquette is believing it is about memorizing strict locked in rules. People often want one-hindered prevent answers because they feel easier. The truth is that the trails rarely operate that neatly once terrain, weather, wildlife, safety, and actual humans enter the equation.

    The deeper you get into hiking culture, the more obvious it becomes that etiquette is really about awareness, safety, and common sense.

    Pink haired Caucasian man in a black hoodie and tan book bag standing in front of a waterfall at rockmill near Lancaster, Ohio.

    What impact are you having on the trail beneath your feet? What effects do your actions have on the wildlife?

    Do your actions have an impact on the other hikers sharing the trails with you?

    Most of the time, if you can answer those questions honestly, the rest of the puzzle just sort of solves itself.


    TLDR:

    Trail etiquette is less about memorizing rules and more about understanding why those rules exist. Trails snd terrain can change constantly, so safety, common sense, and knowledgeable hikers find the fixed answer quickly.

    Many trail rules have exceptions and are not set in stone, people however, rarely explain these facts. The polite move and the safest or lowest-impact move are not always going to be the same thing.

    Most etiquette problems come down to awareness. Protect the trail, respect shared spaces, and try not to become the person accidentally starting a Bluetooth speaker or an off-leash dog civil war on a switchback.

    Two dark haired people in dark colored shirts and glasses stand in front of a waterfall in Munising, Michigan.

    Keep Learning:

    National Park Service – Hiking Etiquette/ Staying Safe/ Types of Trails

    Sustainable Hiking Tree Carvings


  • A Daily Gratitude Journal Entry – Storia

    A Daily Gratitude Journal Entry – Storia


    Best For:

    Individuals who like to read emotional journal entries, people struggling through finding their identity, and daily journal entry enthusiasts.

    The Vault:

    • Emotional themes: identity, transition, healing, self-acceptance, gratitude, trauma recovery, and personal growth.
    • Reflections on: outgrowing fear, people-pleasing, internalized shame, and harmful relationship patterns.
    • Discussion of: gender identity and the experience of choosing authenticity over invisibility.
    • Exploration of: self-worth, healing from emotional abuse, and redefining what safety and love should look like.
    • Best read when: you have space for heavier reflection and honest conversations with yourself.

    How We Got Here:

    I try and honestly sometimes fail at keeping a daily journal. I love the Storia app though. With this iOS only app you can grow plants with daily streaks, create interconnected journals entries, as well as share community journal entries , and create multiple themed journals. Sometimes a journal prompt exists and you know that it needs to be shared. This was one of them.

    Storia Daily Journal Entry Prompt: What parts of you are you grateful you out grew?

    The Journal Entry:

    I’m glad I outgrew a lot of different things. One of the parts I am most glad to have cut ties with is the part of me that hid my want to transition.

    For years, that version of me treated my own truth like a secret to protect other people from.

    I swallowed words mid-sentence.

    Pre transition photo of Axton in mirror holding a cell phone and wearing a blue t-shirt.

    I laughed along when assumptions were made about me.

    I let the world see a shape instead of a person.

    I’m glad he finally got tired of living in her shadow.

    I’m glad he realized that hiding isn’t protection and it’s actually a slower kind of disappearing a much more terminal pain.

    Outgrowing her meant choosing to be seen, even when my hands were shaking.

    Along with that I am also glad I outgrew the part of me that was concerned with how people would or do view me and my transition.

    That part of me tried to build a prison out of other people’s opinions.

    I ritualized checking every mirror for disapproval.

    I edited myself before anyone even asked a question.

    Letting her go didn’t happen all at once.

    It happened in small rebellions: wearing what I wanted, speaking without apologizing first, staying quiet when I used to over-explain.

    I don’t need or wish to be viewed comfortably anymore. I need to be viewed truly.

    And I’m glad.

    Deeply, Painfully, Gratefully.

    I finally outgrew the part of me that accepted abuse because I thought I deserved it, sometimes I felt I was deserving of worse.

    That is the part of me that breaks my heart to remember.

    He took cruelty as proof.

    He confused endurance with love.

    He thought that if he just absorbed enough pain, someone would finally stay.

    No one should have to earn safety. No one should have to prove they’re worthy of kindness.

    Man in black t-shirt and grey shorts sits on a wooden bench with a brown and white American pit bull terrier in the bare trees and fall leaves.

    Outgrowing him wasn’t graceful.

    It was leaving a room I should never have been in. It was learning that the voice that said “you had it coming” was never mine to listen to.

    It was the most harmful echo I’d learned to repeat.

    I don’t miss any of those versions of me. I don’t hate them either. They were doing their best with what they knew.

    What they didn’t know yet was this: I was always meant to grow past them. Every single one and honestly I hope more.

    I mean after all life isn’t about being stagnant.


    Self-Acceptance

    My journey to embrace my true self, shedding the layers that once confined me, speaks volumes to me regarding my level of courage.

    This also highlights my profound commitment to authenticity. The facade I maintained to protect others from my truth, even at the cost of my own visibility, reveals a deep-rooted strength and care for others, yet a simultaneous neglect for my own needs.

    This evolution towards honest self-expression, away from societal expectations or assumed norms, showcases not just personal growth but an emerging confidence to claim my space in the world.

    The painful, yet liberating process of letting go of the parts of me that once accepted mistreatment as a norm suggests a significant shift in my self-worth and understanding of love.

    Pink haired man in glasses and black t-shirt stands in front of a lush wooded area and flowing waterfall.

    Moving forward, I want to channel this newfound appreciation for my authentic self into small acts of rebellion. This could be by wearing something that feels uniquely me, sharing my thoughts in a setting where I might have held back before, a new outfit to a new hairstyle, or even a new hobby.

    Each one serves as a gentle reminder of my right to be seen and heard. Never again for how comfortably I fit into the world, but for how true I am within it.


    TLDR:

    This Storia journal prompt unexpectedly turned into a reflection on the versions of myself I had to outgrow to survive and become whole.

    From hiding my transition and living for other people’s comfort to accepting treatment I never deserved, this entry explores grief, growth, and the difficult process of choosing authenticity.

    Growth was not graceful, but I am grateful for every version of me that carried me here, and every version I still have left to become.


    Take this a step further:

    Be my homie on Storia

    A Mother’s Day Journal Entry


  • Success Reclaimed – Doing Enough the Overlooked Radical Victory

    Success Reclaimed – Doing Enough the Overlooked Radical Victory


    Best for:
    Exhausted lower and middle class professionals on the steady grind, indie creative people constantly fighting algorithms, and the burnt-out friends managing high-stakes interpersonal relationships.


    The Vault

    • The mechanical failure of the moving goalpost in professional and personal growth.
    • Distinguishing your physical capacity from the toxic “requirements” of modern culture.
    • Reclaiming the Default to Zero mindset to celebrate every authentic action.
    • Addressing the “Celebration Deficit” formed by unrealistic metrics and corporate retaliation.

    “Just because you could be doing more doesn’t mean you have not done enough.”

    A Night Shift Epiphany:

    I was at work the other night, when I was reminded of an overlooked radical victory we should all try to focus on more. This was also my third night shift of four, back-to-back. Not to mention it was also my longest shift of the week, a 16-hour true-double. These long marathon-like shifts typically leave me feeling more like a well-oiled machine than anything close to resembling a human.

    We had just finished the midnight bed-checks, I took my seat and opened my phone. I was scrolling through TikTok one-hundred percent focused on killing a little time and trying to keep myself slightly entertained until the next time I was needed for assistance.

    I was just scrolling away, and I flicked right past the video as I heard a woman claiming she had a quote that would change the listener’s life for the better, through positive thinking.

    Though, if we are being honest, my immediate internal reaction was a cynical “yeah, right,” I think I even scoffed out loud.

    I did, obviously scroll back just to see what the “great” quote was, and the words she shared actually stopped me in my tracks.

    “Just because you could be doing more doesn’t mean you have not done enough.”

    She proceeded to smile and say something to the effect of “You heard me, in all you come to do stop looking at what you didn’t do, look at what you were able to do.”

    Those few seconds and couple of sentences exposed the lie we are all living willingly, in almost an instant. These days we find ourselves often stuck in a world that is always expecting more…

    More access to us,

    more content,

    more authentic views into our private lives,

    more time,

    and even more productivity.

    Whether it is a corporations internal management team expecting us to bridge their staffing gaps or a friend giving us a look that resembles our childhood dog’s droopy puppy-like eyes. We are constantly guilt-tripped both as a manipulative tactic and on accident.

    Consider this:

    What happens though, when we have nothing more to give?

    Is the pressure to fulfill someone else’s need out of fear of being replaced still just as relentless?

    My POV:

    I for one feel that it is good to be reminded that whatever we offer, even the days we find ourselves able to offer nothing, choosing to prioritize our own mental health, still ensures we win.

    Doing something at all is a feat in itself when navigating a world full of people who appear kin to the birds screaming “mine” in “Finding Nemo.” This is the only way to do more for ourselves than to simply survive.


    External Pressure:

    The external voices demanding more usually start by turning our boundaries into obstacles, creating a landscape of expectation that is impossible to satisfy.

    These seekers of the never-ending more in our lives show up in personal, professional, and creative avenues more often than others at least when I consider my own lives experiences.

    The “More, More, More” People:

    • Interpersonal: These are the specific people who always have one more request. You know the moment you give an inch, and they appear to turn their sad puppy eyes towards you while they give you “the look.” Or worse an obviously not authentic sob story.
    • Corporate: Manifesting as our managers that treat extra shifts as the baseline. Then they turn around and attempt to punish employees who have the audacity to take our earned and scheduled time off.
    • Creative: For the indie creative individuals, it is the algorithm’s ever-changing rules breathing down our backs, demanding high-volume content just to grow visibility.

    Comparison Distortion & Privilege:

    We often judge ourselves when we show up. Then we double down and compare our outcome or actions with how someone else did. No matter the instance, the someone else most likely has a completely different ability and set of privileges than our own.

    When it comes to algorithms, others may also be using paid promotions or are simply more favored by the algorithm’s bias over queer, advocacy, and community-forward things in my case. In the workforce, our supervisors can feed this by comparing employees to each other when you do not agree to give them more of your free time.

    Hocking Hills State Park, Ohio Caucasian man wearing a graphic multi color t-shirt, checkerboard black and white backpack straps showing in front of iconic Hocking Hills waterfall green pool and sandstone cliffs showing in the background. Expressing overlook radical victory.

    The Internal Trap:

    When the external pressure is loud enough for a long enough period of time, it creates an internal identity crisis that rots our self- perspective.

    • Interpersonally: There is a haunting fear that if we stop going outside of your ability for people, we will lose our value to them. I’m not sure when, but we have started to view us not being able to fix the problems of our friends as a moral failure.
    • Corporately: We internalize the toxic way management speaks as if we are the cause of their staffing issues, taking the blame for their lack of communication.
    • Creative: Indie folks see this turn into feeling like our creations aren’t worthy of being sold because the algorithms favor the replaceable high-volume creators over the authentic voice.

    The Mechanical Failures of Logic:

    The logic of the never-ending more is fundamentally broken because it relies on shifting targets and impossible standards.

    The Moving Goalpost Trap:

    Meeting a social requirement usually only leads to the expectation that we will immediately jump higher. In the corporate world, taking on extra days only leads to management treating our extra-work as the new permanent baseline. The moment you need your scheduled time back, you are treated as a burden.

    Capacity vs. Requirement:

    We have to work at recognizing that our capacity to answer a noon text when we work third shift later that night doesn’t mean the relationship requires it. There needs to be a clear gap between what each of us can take on mentally and what we are unwilling to budge on for our own safety.


    The Threshold of Diminishing Returns:

    Eventually, over-thinking and over-giving both typically start to cause friction in our minds and lives. This threshold is where our improvements stop and our sanity breaks.

    The Myth of the Final State:

    Reclaiming our own lives requires accepting that there is no final state where any of us have done it all.

    • Relationships: These are daily practice rituals, not a level we can beat.
    • Corporations: Management often uses empty threats; it is not a reflection of your work ethic.
    • Algorithms: The biased algorithm will never be 100% accurate or responsive in the way we want always.

    The Path to Being Enough:

    The Default to Zero Mindset:

    We need to work at resetting our expectations so that a simple check-in is seen more like a radical overlooked victory.

    Our work ethics are a direct reflection of the work we do that is required, not what a manager says when we tell them “not this time, pal.”

    The Devaluation of Completion:

    We must acknowledge and celebrate that we show up consistently. Clocking out after a shift and enjoying ourselves and our freedom from the man is a victory we all should relish in more often.


    TLDR:

    In a world addicted to the never-ending more, doing enough is a radical success.

    Whether you are finishing a 16-hour shift or an indie creative project, our value is defined by our boundaries, not our output volume.


    Further Reading:

    Work place strategies for mental health

    Reddit- the algorithm won’t build your brand people will

    A poem about being the mirror of others


  • Mother’s Day Grief- A Digital Haunting & Legacy Loss

    Mother’s Day Grief- A Digital Haunting & Legacy Loss


    Best for:

    Adult orphans, individuals navigating holiday triggers after loss, bereaved children of the digital age, and ex-pats searching for home.


    The Vault:

    • The Six-Month Wall: Why the half-year mark post-loss is a uniquely vulnerable period for the bereaved.
    • Algorithmic Cruelty: The psychological impact of inescapable retail marketing on grieving individuals.
    • Polish Lineage: Connecting the dots between a Mother’s Day loss and a grandfather’s May 10th birthday.
    • Movement as Medicine: Utilizing hiking as a functional tool to process stagnant emotional weight.

    Another Season of Grief:

    The end of April and the start of May often bring with them a specific kind of atmospheric pressure. If you’ve experienced this you know it has nothing to do with weather. Yet those of us unfortunate orphaned adult-children navigating Mother’s Day grief and the digital haunting of an inescapable connected world, know that this season of grief is less about bouquets and more about survival.

    This journal explores the actual life experiences and the tolls that come from experiencing first’s after parent loss. It is a look at the specific gut-punch that the grueling six-month marker leaves after a loss and, the real frustration caused by a capitalistic landscape that, until recently, offered no exit ramp for the grieving.

    By unpacking the many layers of family, loss, and the specific sting of my grandfather’s birthday falling in the same week as Mother’s Day brings, we can figure out what works to help us move through the stagnant air of loss and towards the restorative spaces that bring each of us peace.


    The Six-Month Wall & a Digital Haunting:

    In May 2022, I hit a invisible wall. I was almost exactly six months out from losing my mom. The date that changed my life was November the 8th, 2021. This timeframe acted as a brutal sweet spot where the initial shock had evaporated. In its wake it left behind a cold, permanent reality. It was during this window, that the Mother’s Day grief and the digital haunting began in earnest.

    The inbox of every email address I used became a minefield. DoorDash, Etsy, Amazon, Temu, and many others were relentless with their Mother’s Day marketed emails.

    Dad, Mom, and Me. In 2004. Bridge Street Middle School 6th grade Family Night

    I can feel the sensations still as if my memory is my current reality; I feel the physical sensation and, then I have to stop myself from questioning if it is really happening.

    I can feel my chest tighten.

    I remember how I could feel the mechanical and biological systems of my lungs working; I knew I was breathing.

    Yet, the air felt like it wasn’t working to fill my lungs adequately enough to get half of a breath.

    It goes without saying but, I still will mention that I emailed these companies, multiple times. I was doing the internets equivalent of begging on my knees for them to find a way to exclude people who had lost their parents among other things from these marketing campaigns.

    However, back in 2022, the opt-out feature I was finally able to utilize this year, was not something they had developed. Self-sabotage or some other kind of twisted form of psychological self harm made these emails feel a magnetized.

    My need to read them was bordering on masochistic, as I couldn’t just ignore even one notification. If the algorithm was going to torture me, I should at least witness it. I at least owe my mom the suffering it caused me as a gift; do I not?


    Warwood West Virginia- Polish Songs, Family Homes, & My Cultural Roots:

    The weight of the first Mother’s Day without my mom is worsened by its proximity to May 10th, my Judji’s (grandfather’s) birthday.

    This date acts as a mental bridge or reminder back to an old Victorian house in Warwood, West Virginia. A place that contained a set of heavy pocket doors my childhood body could barely will to move, smells of cabbage rolls or that days soup cooking, and the sounds of my multi- generational family singing songs in Polish.

    We were a loop of the same DNA; I look very close to identical to my mom, who looked even closer to exactly like her grandmother, Butchie.

    Judji was the small town’s gatekeeper of culture in his own way. He began running a VHS rental out of the house with a handwritten ledger. If you didn’t return his movie to that Victorian on 17th Street, you couldn’t rent another. He continued this system all the way through 2 other homes on 17th street still, and an apartment at Garden Park Towers.

    Caucasian woman with light brown curly hair tied back sticks her tongue out pretending to lick her child’s face child has dark brown hair and a white onesie on

    These memories are part of the antidote to my Mother’s Day grief and the digital haunting that tries to flatten our parents into marketing demographics. My mom wasn’t a receiver of the unthoughtful Mother’s Day Catalog gifts; I couldn’t disrespect the woman who knew I was lying as soon as she saw my hives each time I snuck orange juice and chocolate, or the daughter of a man with a “Jason” mask on the basement door like that.


    Breaking the Stagnancy Through Movement:

    When the grief feels like it’s going to sit on your chest endlessly, the only solution I have found that works for me is to change my scenery. My mom and I shared a deep love for the outdoors, I’ve turned the trail into my cathedral.

    • The Memorial Hike: I choose a path we walked together, one she mentioned wanting to try, or I simply try to notice little things she would have pointed out on trail.
    • Active Remembering: Taking the body she gave me, putting it into motion the way she showed me in nature, and remembering why I go outside.
    • The Digital Mute: Leaving the “hammering” of the inbox behind for the silence of the trees.

    By the time I reach the overlook, turnaround spot, or end of the loop, the tightness in my chest is a thing of the past. The movement doesn’t erase the loss, but it proves that I am still capable of moving forward while honoring our bond.

    Navigating Mother’s Day grief and the digital haunting of modern life requires more than just “getting through it.” it requires a conscious reclamation of the day for me, at least.

    Whether it’s through the memory of a grandfather’s VHS ledger in West Virginia or a steep climb in the woods, we survive by keeping the legacy in motion. We are the living evidence of the people we’ve lost, and as long as we keep moving to honor their memory their stories don’t have to stay stagnant inside us.


    TLDR:

    When the six-month wall of grief hits, and retailers hammer your inbox with Mother’s Day ads you can’t mute, the air gets thin and my chest tight. By connecting the holiday to the deeper family legacy of a grandfather’s May 10th birthday and hitting the hiking trails, we can transform a stagnant, digital haunting into a physical, honoring movement.


  • The Echoes of Gunfire; 56-Year Fall- Kent State to our New Normal

    The Echoes of Gunfire; 56-Year Fall- Kent State to our New Normal


    Best For:

    Individuals sick of the “mass shooting at a school” headline, advocacy groups, investigative journalists, seekers of change in legislation, and survivors of institutional failure.


    The Vault:

    The Predator Paradox: Proponents of arming staff ignore that educators already run the risk of being part of a demographic with documented rates of physical and sexual misconduct against minors.

    The Myth: Research confirms media does not cause mass shootings; Japan and South Korea typically consume more violent media than the U.S. Yet, they have near-zero school shooting incidents.

    Security Theater Failure: Since Columbine, billions of dollars have been spent on bulletproof glass and clear backpacks, yet the shooting rate has quadrupled. Hardening works against outsiders, but it is useless against the “insider” student.


    The United States #1 Issue:

    We have spent way too many years pretending that the solution to school violence is a matter of architecture and armor. Since the gunfire stopped raining down on the commons at Kent State, the national response has somehow devolved into a multi-billion dollar “Security Theater.” This treats the children of this country like targets and our schools like bunkers inside the modern day war zone.

    To truly honor the history of this day, we must look just beyond the metal detectors and armed resource officers to confront the uncomfortable, systemic rot just below the surface.

    This journal is a deep dive into the data of school shootings from 1970 to 2026. I am aiming at shedding light on why arming teachers is a predator’s dream, tactical “hardening” fails against the insider shooter, and how the only true path to safety lies in a radical new era of parental accountability and behavioral intervention.


    Kent State – 1970:

    Fifty-six years ago, on May 4, 1970, the world stood still. Four students at Kent State University all unarmed, protesting, and seeking a voice, were shot dead by the Ohio National Guard. It was a moment of national fracture that triggered the only nationwide student strike in U.S. history.

    Today, is Monday, May 4, 2026, and the United States citizens no longer stop when our news outlets show a new school shooting in the headlines. We live in a landscape where the “shock” of school violence has been replaced by a grim, repetitive statistical drumbeat.

    We have moved from a society horrified by a near singular tragedy to one that is increasingly callous, disconnected, and armored against the next inevitable headline. For an Ohioan today, “May the Fourth” isn’t a sci-fi celebration; it’s an anniversary of blood on concrete and a reminder that for over half a century, the target has simply moved from university activists to now include all levels of education including toddlers in preschools.


    In Memoriam – The Kent State Four and the Wounded:

    At 12:24 p.m. today, the Victory Bell rang at the Kent State Commons. We do not just honor a date; we honor students who were robbed of their futures by the very authority figures tasked with their safety.

    • Allison Krause (19): An honors student who believed “Flowers are better than bullets.
    • Jeffrey Miller (20): Instantly lost his life, while standing over 250 feet away from the Guard line.
    • Sandra Scheuer (20): An honors student walking to a speech therapy class; she wasn’t even part of the protest.
    • William Schroeder (19): An Eagle Scout and ROTC student caught in the crossfire while walking between classes.

    We also remember the survivors:

    Alan Canfora, John Cleary, Thomas Grace, Dean Kahler (paralyzed), Joseph Lewis, Donald Mackenzie, James Russell, Robert Stamps, and Douglas Wrentmore. Their lives were some of the first pieces of evidence from a system that chooses tactical escalation over the preservation of student life.


    The Evolution of the Target:

    The scope of this crisis is now the growing death and destruction total. In 1970, mass violence on campus was a political anomaly.

    As of April 30th, 2026, there have already been 134 mass shootings in the U.S. this year a violent epidemic that bleeds directly into our classrooms. In 2025, there were 233 K-12 incidents and 64 higher education shootings.

    The callousness setting into our national psyche is a survival mechanism against an explosion of the frequency in school shootings, We have normalized the idea that a child in school needs a bulletproof insert in their backpack. This is the same progressive rot moving through every level of education.

    While the demographics of perpetrators are always shifting with university shooters often being older and motivated by different grievances; the mechanical failure is identical: the presence of a firearm where it should never have been.


    The Myth of the Screen vs. the Reality of a Lock:

    Blaming violence in video games, books, movies, or other violent media is a 56-year-old deflection. The facts around the causes has remained the same: there is no causal link between media and criminal violence.

    If you look at countries like Japan and South Korea who consume more violent media than the U.S. but have near-zero school shootings. You see the variable actually exists when you look at the reality of the unsecured firearm.

    Roughly 80% of K-12 shooters obtain the weapons they go on to use in school shootings from the home they live in or the home of a family member. This is a fundamental breach of the expectations that exists inside the parent-child relationship. The parent is supposed to be fully responsible for their child’s safety.

    If a gun case is locked but a child knows where the key is, or if the safe lacks multi-point biometric logs, that lock might as well not exist. To suggest a child doesn’t know how to use a key is a lethal misunderstanding. The year 2026 seems to be one that aims to mark a turning point where “parental neglect” in school shootings is being reclassified as Second-Degree Murder.

    Charging parents who are “willfully blind” to their child’s crisis and access to firearms as seen in the landmark cases in Michigan and Georgia. This is the only policy move currently working at shifting the needle.


    The Lethal Power Imbalance – Sexual Misconduct and the Armed Teacher:

    The people who wish to arm teachers clearly ignore the reality of the creepy male teacher being armed. Handing a gun to school staff doesn’t just create a “shield,” it creates a lethal power imbalance in a demographic that already proves a documented risk.

    Statistics consistently show that school staff and educators are responsible for high rates of physical and sexual misconduct against minors. So if we go and hand them a firearm, are we not potentially arming predators? This essentially hands children over to the armed predator to have an even easier access point.

    Congratulations!! Under this proposal the students who were already vulnerable to sexual abuse at school now face an authority figure who is not only a gatekeeper to their education but is also equipped with lethal force. This makes reporting abuse or resisting a predator nearly impossible.

    To further expand black and brown students, who already face disproportionate force and perceived-threat bias from staff, an armed protector is just another source of violence. Hardening a school doesn’t fix a predator; it just makes them more dangerous.


    Schools As Security Theaters Our Aftermath of The Columbine Legacy:

    Columbine (1999) birthed the multi-billion dollar “security theater” industry. We’ve spent decades on bulletproof glass, back-pack bullet shields, metal detectors, clear backpacks, and more. Still, the shooting rate has quadrupled.

    Hardening a building doesn’t work against a shooter that’s an “insider.” If the student already has the code and knows which doors don’t latch how do these things work? The short answer is they don’t. If the student knows the code and the lockdown spot because they sat through the same drill, the theater isn’t just useless… it becomes a roadmap for the shooter.

    94% of shooters share their intent beforehand through “leakage.” Mandatory peer learning classes that teach students to “spy” on one another often backfire, creating suspicion rather than support.

    The real solution is Behavioral Threat Assessment, identifying the “isolated loner” who is actually a threat and providing intervention before the plan turns into action. It another means of treating suicidality as the emergency. This phenomenon affects nearly 100% of university shooters. These shootings are typically driven by a final act of self-destruction.


    Reclaiming Our Freedom:

    To be truly free is to be able to learn without being afraid there’s a target on your back. The data in 2026 shows that the only path forward is Accountability.

    We must hold gun owning parents and other family members strictly liable for their weapons. While we aim at treatment for students who are self-isolating and fall under other risky-demographics as an emergency.

    I hope you took a moment today to honor Kent State. The way we continue to honor the victims of these senseless acts is to stop treating our schools and universities like war zones; we need to start treating them like the learning institutions and communities they actually are.

    We have the statistics and the data from the last 56-years.

    We just need the guts to act on them.


    TLDR:

    The “Security Theater” our learning institutions have become has failed and is still failing to stop the growth of school shootings since 1970. Arming staff introduces the risk of errors and creates a lethal power imbalance for students already vulnerable to sexual abuse and unfair bias.

    The only evidence-based solutions in 2026 are holding parents criminally liable for unsecured weapons and utilizing Behavioral Threat Assessments to identify “leakagebefore a student reaches the moment they place their finger on the trigger.

  • A Two Day Creative Reset and Soul Work Tarot Reading & Reflection

    A Two Day Creative Reset and Soul Work Tarot Reading & Reflection


    Yesterday and today’s two-day tarot journal entry that reflects on the Eight of Pentacles reversed and the Three of Pentacles. This is a message about rest, creative alignment, and soul-led work.

    2 of three falls that flow into eachother in Monroe county Ohio
    Piatt Park

    Eight of Pentacles Reversed and Three of Pentacles Tarot Journal

    Tarot does not shout.

    It whispers… then it waits for you to notice.

    Over these two days, one card slid in right as I was running out the door into the woods, and the next one arrived after rest, connection, and quiet work. Together they formed a story about what it means to be a creative, a craftsperson, and a soul doing real work in a body that still needs to breathe.

    This was not about money.

    It was not about hustle.

    It was about energy, devotion, and the difference between sacred effort and self-punishment.


    Day One, Eight of Pentacles Reversed

    The Moment It Arrived

    I pulled the Eight of Pentacles reversed on January 14th, 2026, right before leaving for what was supposed to be a hike at Cooper’s Rock. Plans shifted, distance mattered, and we rerouted toward Piatt Gorge near Woodsfield, Ohio. Rain followed us from Columbus through Eastern Ohio and back into central Ohio.

    The card landed right as my shoes were on, keys in hand, already in motion.

    That timing mattered.

    I had been planning to pull it earlier, but tarot has its own sense of humor. It waited until I was physically stepping into the exact medicine the card was pointing toward.


    What the Eight of Pentacles Reversed Means in Daily Life

    Upright, the Eight of Pentacles is grind, mastery, repetition, building skill through relentless focus.

    Reversed, it asks something very different.

    This card does not mean laziness.

    It means misaligned effort.

    It points to moments where you are working hard but not necessarily working well. Where perfectionism creeps in, where every task becomes a test of worth, where even spiritual practice starts to feel like another thing to get right.

    It is the card that asks,

    Why does everything feel like a job?


    In a daily pull, the Eight of Pentacles reversed is a pause button. It is a soft warning against turning your whole life into a checklist.


    Perfectionism Is Not Devotion

    This card kept circling one truth.

    Perfectionism is the killer of good.

    Not because standards are bad, but because obsessive refinement can become a form of self-distrust. You stop creating and start policing yourself. You stop listening to your body and start measuring it.

    The reversed Eight of Pentacles is about stepping back from that loop.

    Not quitting, not abandoning your path, but remembering that meaningful work needs breath, space, and rest or it rots into resentment.


    Hiking as Ritual, Not Escape

    Yesterday, I was heading into the woods.

    Not to run from work, but to realign with it.

    Hiking, for me, is not downtime. It is worship. It is how I remember I am part of something larger than productivity. It is how I bring my nervous system back into rhythm with the land. It is how I spend time with nature and show it love, while reminding myself I am blessed.

    The Eight of Pentacles reversed was not telling me to stop creating.

    It was saying,

    Stop punishing yourself for how you create.

    The card landed right before I stepped into the exact kind of soul time that heals this imbalance. That was not coincidence.


    Day Two, Three of Pentacles

    Today January 15th, 2026, after waking up, cleaning up, spending time with Skylar and the baby, while sitting in my garage, I pulled the Three of Pentacles.


    This is what comes after realignment.

    The Three of Pentacles is about skilled work done with intention. It is about building something that matters, not alone, not in isolation, but in relationship to others and to spirit.

    Where the Eight reversed said,

    Stop grinding,

    the Three said,

    Now build with care.

    The Sacred Triangle of Work

    In traditional tarot imagery, the Three of Pentacles shows three figures, often described as an artisan, an architect, and a spiritual figure.

    Fire, the worker and desire.

    Air, the planner and the mind.

    Water, the spiritual witness.

    Together they form a triangle. This is what makes work sacred. Not just effort, but intention, vision, and meaning braided together.


    Rachel Pollack wrote once that practical work done consciously can become a vehicle for self-development. That is the heart of this card.


    It is not about what you do.

    It is about how you do it, and what you pour into it.

    This Is the Card of the Artisan

    The Three of Pentacles is not a gift card.

    It is a proof of labor.

    The person in this card is trusted because they earned it. They honed their craft. They kept showing up. Their work speaks for them.

    This is the card that appears when you are no longer guessing at your path, but walking it.

    It often comes when you are developing a talent, polishing a skill, or finally being recognized for what you have been quietly building.

    And yes, it can also be about collaboration, mentorship, and being seen by the right people at the right time.

    We do not work in a vacuum.


    How These Two Cards Speak to Each Other

    The Eight of Pentacles reversed cleared the static.

    The Three of Pentacles tuned the signal.

    One said,

    Stop making everything a grind.

    The other said,

    Now create with purpose.

    Together they describe exactly where I am standing.

    2025 was about going live, trying things, learning out loud.

    2026 is about using what I learned, refining it, and letting it mature.

    Not frantic effort, but conscious craft.

    Not burnout, but devotion.

    This Is What Soul Work Looks Like.

    The Three of Pentacles does not promise miracles. It promises something better.

    Growth.

    Creative, spiritual, and material fulfillment built on real effort.

    The Eight of Pentacles reversed made space for this by pulling me out of self-punishment and back into alignment.

    Together, these cards told me something simple and true.

    You are allowed to rest.

    And you are meant to build.


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  • Banned Books to Read During Fascist Regimes: Why Orwell’s 1984 Still Matters in 2026

    Banned Books to Read During Fascist Regimes: Why Orwell’s 1984 Still Matters in 2026


    In 1949, George Orwell wrote Nineteen Eighty‑Four as a warning about how power could erode privacy, truth, and freedom. Today, the concerns Orwell dramatized aren’t science fiction, they’re unfolding in real time. Digital surveillance and social media influence the likeness is evident. And Immigration enforcement is expanding monitoring tools. The parallels between 1984 and now are too strong to ignore. 


    Modern Surveillance and 1984

    In 1984, Orwell’s “telescreens” monitor citizens without reprieve, ensuring conformity and crushing dissent. Modern analogs aren’t dystopian gadgets hidden in walls. But they’re in our pockets and on cloud servers. Industry‑wide data collection leads to pervasive awareness. Algorithmic profiling contributes to this realization. Social media tracking and government access to digital footprints further suggest that private life is shrinking. 


    Algorithmic Tracking and Digital Control

    Platforms like TikTok and Instagram tailor content and track behavior. This resembles Orwell’s Ministry of Truth, shaping reality for citizens. Corporate algorithms determine what people see, what they think is true, and how they self‑present in public spaces. This isn’t an authoritarian plot, but it functions like one. 


    Law Enforcement and Social Media Monitoring

    U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) is planning a 24/7 social media surveillance team. The team will monitor public platforms and gather intelligence. This includes potentially identifying targets for enforcement. Civil liberties advocates warn this could chill speech and privacy. 

    California has introduced tools for residents. These tools allow them to request that data brokers delete personal information. This is a step back from surveillance and toward privacy protection. 


    Immigration Enforcement and Echoes of State Control

    In 1984, dissent is punished and movement controlled. Today, U.S. immigration enforcement has deployed its largest‑ever operations and expanded digital and physical tracking methods.


    Expansion of Data‑Driven Enforcement

    ICE and related agencies have increased biometric tracking tools. They also plan to unify datasets across federal departments. This aims to build detailed profiles. Advocates have raised concerns about privacy and civil liberties as these systems grow more powerful and automated. 


    Join the conversation:


    What other banned or censored books do you think people should read during times of heightened state and corporate power?

    George Orwell's 1984 sitting on top of another book on a small stand next to an ashtray. A rolled marijuana cigar sits on the very top of the pile.

    Drop titles and reasons in the comments.


    Real‑World Raids and Enforcement Operations

    In the past year, several large enforcement operations have unfolded on U.S. soil, including raids in California and Chicago that have resulted in detentions, confrontations, and legal challenges. These events illustrate how state power is exercised in ways that, to many communities, feel like control rather than protection. 


    Control of Information and Public Perception

    One of 1984’s most chilling concepts is the manipulation of truth. History is rewritten. Facts are erased. Language is altered to shape thought. Modern information ecosystems are complex. They often function toward similar ends when disinformation spreads unchecked. Platforms moderate content in opaque ways. 

    This isn’t a simple comparison. It is an invitation to read critically. Consider who controls narratives. Think about how truth is defined in a world of selective exposure, echo chambers, and algorithmic amplification.


    Weaving the Parallels Together

    AI and algorithmic profiling, digital data harvesting, and law enforcement’s expanding toolkit are evident. The central tension in 1984, the tension between individual autonomy and systemized control, is alive in 2026. We do not live in Oceania. However, Orwell’s warnings about vigilance, truth, and memory deserve serious reflection. 


    1984 remains relevant not because history repeats itself exactly. The themes of power, surveillance, truth, and resistance are persistent in any age. This is true where attention is currency and information flows at scale. Reading it now isn’t nostalgic. It is conscious engagement. We attempt to understand not only the world around us. We also seek to comprehend the mechanisms that shape what we think we know.

    1984 has something urgent to teach us. You may choose to pair it with intentional reflection. Consider thoughtful discussion or slow‑paced reading. It teaches about watching, seeing, and resisting the subtle pressures that define our moment.


    Share with someone you know who:
    A.) Is considering reading 1984.
    B.) You think would benefit from or resonate with reading 1984.
    Or
    C.) Likes to read banned books.


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  • Trans‑Masculine Pioneers Through History: Power, Purpose, and Legacy

    Trans‑Masculine Pioneers Through History: Power, Purpose, and Legacy


    Trans‑Masculine Pioneers Through History: Power, Purpose, and Legacy

    Trans and trans‑masculine people have long shaped the world in ways that go beyond survival. These figures have made significant contributions in medicine and public health. They have also excelled in military service, sports, arts, and community building. Their lives and achievements are worth celebrating. Their stories remind us that trans masculinity is not a modern invention, but woven deeply into global history.

    James Barry — Surgeon & Medical Innovator (British Empire)

    Dr. James Barry (c. 1795–1865) was a remarkable military surgeon in the British Army, born in Ireland. Barry performed one of the first known Caesarean sections. In this operation, both mother and child survived. It was a huge medical feat for the time. He was deeply committed to improving hygiene and sanitation in military hospitals. Barry pushed for better medical care for soldiers and local populations. Barry lived publicly as a man, signed as “Dr. James Barry,” and challenged early-19th-century gender norms while saving lives.

    Why he matters: Barry’s identity didn’t limit his contributions. Instead, he used his position to heal, reform, and innovate in colonial-era medicine.

    Alan L. Hart — Radiologist, Tuberculosis Pioneer & Writer (United States)

    Alan L. Hart (1890–1962) was a pioneering radiologist who helped revolutionize early detection of tuberculosis. He introduced the use of X-ray imaging for TB, greatly improving public health efforts. Beyond medicine, Hart was also a writer, weaving themes of identity, science, and healing into his fiction. He lived as a man for decades, and his lifelong work saved lives and pushed medical boundaries.

    Why he matters: Hart’s transmasculine identity is inseparable from his legacy. He was both a healer and a storyteller. His commitment to public health left a measurable impact.

    Karl M. Baer — Writer, Reformer & Gender Pioneer (Germany / Israel)

    Karl M. Baer (1885–1956) authored Memoirs of a Man’s Maiden Years, reflecting on his childhood, identity, and transition. In the early 1900s, Karl underwent what is widely recognized as one of the first gender-affirming surgeries. He gained legal recognition as male. Baer also worked with Magnus Hirschfeld, influencing early sexology and social reform. His life bridged personal narrative with political and social change—he was a social worker, suffragist, and advocate for marginalized people.

    Why he matters: Baer’s work helped lay the foundations for gender-affirming care and gender rights. His story is both deeply personal and socially transformative.

    Michael Dillon — Physician, Ethicist & Medical Trailblazer (United Kingdom)

    Michael Dillon (1915–1962) was a British physician. He became one of the first trans men to medically transition using testosterone. He wrote Self: A Study in Endocrinology and Ethics, exploring gender identity, medical decision-making, and ethics. Dillon’s work helped shape early frameworks for trans healthcare and medical ethics.

    Why he matters: He merged professional rigor with personal courage. His life and writings helped build compassionate, evidence-based approaches to gender-affirming care.

    Amelio Robles Ávila — Soldier & Revolutionary (Mexico)

    Amelio Robles Ávila (1889–1984) was a Colonel in the Mexican Revolution. He lived openly as a man from his mid-20s, and his military leadership was recognized by the Mexican government. Robles earned a Revolutionary Merit Award and is celebrated in Mexico for bravery and service while living authentically.

    Why he matters: Robles demonstrated the intersection of trans identity and revolutionary activism. He fought for justice and recognition. He left a lasting legacy in Mexican history.

    Lou Sullivan — Activist, Community Builder & Writer (United States)

    Lou Sullivan (1951–1991) was openly gay and trans at a time when that was revolutionary. He created resources for FTM people. He built peer support networks. Lou clarified that gender identity and sexual orientation are distinct but overlapping. His diaries and posthumously published writings reflect hope, insight, and advocacy.

    Why he matters: Sullivan built community structures. He fought for medical recognition. He articulated trans masculinity in ways that continue to guide activism today.

    Reed Erickson — Philanthropist & Trans Movement Fundraiser (United States)

    Reed Erickson (1917–1992) founded the Erickson Educational Foundation (EEF), which funded early transgender medical research, community outreach, and publications. His work expanded medical care and education opportunities for trans people in the 1960s–80s.

    Why he matters: Erickson’s philanthropy helped create infrastructure for trans communities and ensured early access to gender-affirming care.

    Albert D. J. Cashier — Soldier & Union Veteran (United States)

    Albert Cashier (1843–1915), born Jennie Irene Hodgers, served in the 95th Illinois Infantry during the U.S. Civil War. Cashier fought bravely, lived as a man for decades, and was respected by his community. He exemplified heroism, integrity, and authenticity.

    Why he matters: Cashier’s dedication to country and self demonstrates courage in both service and identity.

    Zdeněk Koubek — Athlete & Gender Trailblazer (Czechoslovakia)

    Zdeněk Koubek (1913–1986), born Zdena Koubková, was a world-class runner in the 1930s, setting records and winning medals. In 1935, he publicly announced he would live as a man and continued to pursue life openly in Prague. His story expanded conversations around gender in sports.

    Why he matters: Koubek’s athletic excellence and public transition challenged norms and left a legacy of courage and change.

    Why These Histories Matter

    Trans identity is not new: These men and transmasculine figures span centuries and continents. Their impact was positive and varied: Medicine, activism, war, arts, sports—their lives left tangible contributions. Visibility strengthens communities: Recognizing these stories empowers transmasculine people today. Global and intersectional representation: Figures from Mexico, Czechoslovakia, the U.S., and Australia illustrate the diversity of trans histories.

  • TDoR- A LGBTQ+ History Lesson

    TDoR- A LGBTQ+ History Lesson

    The First Transgender Day of Remembrance

    On November 20, 1999, the first Transgender Day of Remembrance (TDoR) took place. This was organized by activist Gwendolyn Ann Smith to honor the life of Rita Hester. A trans woman of color murdered the year before.

    Gwendolyn’s web project, Remembering Our Dead, launched to aggregate names of trans people lost to violence. Thus making our stories visible. Candlelit vigils in Boston and San Francisco marked a solemn promise: trans lives will not be erased.

    Since then, TDoR has grown into a global observance, with hundreds of cities participating annually.

    Rita Hester: Her Life, Her Death, Her Legacy

    Rita Hester was born November 30, 1963. She lived in Boston, where she was a vibrant presence in the queer and trans community.

    On November 28, 1998, she was stabbed to death in her apartment, reportedly twenty times. The media misgendered and dead named her. Only demonstrating the disrespect and erasure trans people face even in death.

    Her death sparked outrage and action. Leading to the first TDoR and the enduring memorial project that ensures trans lives are remembered. A mural in Boston now honors her, cementing her presence for generations to come.

    Notable Trans People Remembered: Impact & Legacy

    Sir Ewan Forbes (1912-1991)

    A Scottish doctor and trans man, Ewan Forbes, faced a legal challenge from his cousin. All over the inheritance of a baronetcy. Forbes, being AFAB, was forced to claim an intersex condition in a secret court hearing to win the case. Ewan lived publicly as himself, married the woman he loved, and carried his title. Though, the secrecy delayed broader legal recognition for trans people in the UK. His story is a reminder that trans men have always existed, just usually quietly. While erasure is even evident in victory.

    Albert Cashier (1843-1915)

    Albert Cashier, an Irish-born trans man, served in the Union Army during the American Civil War. He lived his adult life as a man until a car accident in 1910 revealed his assigned sex at birth. Later, in a state institution, attendants forced him into a dress against his will. Comrades remembered him as loyal and steadfast, and he was buried in his full military uniform in 1915. Albert’s story illustrates resilience, service, and the courage of living authentically despite societal erasure.

    Dr. Alan Hart (1890–1962)

    Alan Hart, a trans man and American physician and radiologist. He was also one of the first trans men in the United States to undergo hysterectomy and gonadectomy in 1917. Though, his career and life were lived under the constant threat of being outed. Which, sadly, would have ended his medical work. Hart’s persistence highlights both the courage and the invisibility imposed on trans men in history.

    Billy Tipton (1914–1989)

    A celebrated jazz musician, Billy Tipton lived and worked as a man to pursue a career in music. Jazz venues wouldn’t book women musicians, so Billy became. He lived the life he wanted, just as many queer people of the time did. And Billy thrived, he led bands and toured relentlessly. Eventually he built a reputation as a talented, reliable musician. Billy booked steady gigs in Oklahoma and Washington, raised three boys, and maintained a family life. Billy’s life was loving and ordinary in all ways that mattered. Though, after his death in 1989, paramedics discovered he had been assigned female at birth. Turning what should have been private, into a media frenzy. Billy was ripped open by tablets hungry for spectacle. Instead of honoring a respected musician, the media turned him into a headline. Misgendering him, mocking him, and sensationalizing his life without the faintest understanding of the violence that exposure like this causes. This was one of the first major examples of the modern press publicly outing a trans man without consent. Eventually, it shaped the way media ethics would be debated. Yet, none of that noise changes the truth. Billy lived his life as himself, loved his kids, made his music, and never owed the world a fucking thing. Billy Tipton’s story is a stark example of how transgender men have been misrepresented, even after death.

    Gwendolyn Ann Smith

    The founder of TDoR and author. Her activism preserves memory and builds community. Gwendolyn dreams to exist in a world where we no longer need the memorial she created. Her work ensures that trans lives lost to violence are not forgotten, creating a foundation for grief, resistance, and advocacy.

    Monique Thomas & Chanelle Pickett

    Both women are trans women of color whose deaths preceded Rita Hester’s. Monique Thomas (1998) and Chanelle Pickett (1995) are integral to TDoR’s early history. Their lives and deaths emphasize that violence against trans women, especially Black trans women, is part of a systemic pattern.

    Marsha P. Johnson (1945–1992)

    A self-proclaimed transvestite, She/her, drage queen activist, and community elder, Marsha P. Johnson co-founded STAR (Street Transvestite Action Revolutionaries) with Sylvia Rivera. She fought for queer and trans youth, living openly and boldly. Remembering her highlights the activism, joy, and resistance within trans communities, and not only loss.

    Recent Transgender people lost to soon

    Mar’Quis “MJ” Jackson

    A 33-year-old Black trans man and Philadelphia activist. MJ worked with the William Way Center, Transgender Legal Defense Fund, and The Free KY Project. He was found deceased on December 14, 2022, from multiple blunt force injuries. His life was full of love and activism. Being described as someone who “would get the party started anywhere” and “loved everybody.” In January 2025, Charles Mitchell was convicted for involuntary manslaughter and other charges related to MJ’s death. His story paints a picture of violence against trans people. While we also seldom get actual justice.

    Nex Benedict (2008-2024)

    A 16-year-old nonbinary student from Owasso, Oklahoma, Nex endured severe bullying and a physical assault at school. Despite the school nurse recommending a medical examination, Nex finished the day at school. To arrive home bloodied after being left to endure the rest of the day without proper care. They later died from an overdose, a death considered a result of systemic failures in schools and anti-trans environments. Nex’s story reflects both the vulnerability of trans youth and the urgent need for systemic protections.

    Sam Nordquist

    Sam was a 24-year-old trans man of color from Minnesota. He endured weeks of physical and sexual abuse, starvation, and psychological torture before his death in early 2025. Seven scumbag monsters were charged with second-degree murder. Two of which had recently been released after sexual charges. These excuses for humans also had two minor children actively engaged in abusing Sam. This angel of a human was also a healthcare worker. He loved his community, he wanted simply to be loved. I will always have a dedicated memorial page dedicated to him on my website. His memorial page tells the story of what he loved, shares art, and honors him. His life, work, and heart should not be reduced to his death. Sam reflects the vibrancy, generosity, and bravery of trans men today.

    Why This Matters: Memory, Violence, Resistance

    TDoR is resistance, not just memorial. Reading names refuses invisibility. Lighting candles is defiance. Violence against trans people is not new, and systemic and cultural erasure persists.

    Legal protections in the U.S. stay a patchwork at best. As of 2024, only about 21–23 states plus D.C. explicitly protect gender identity across employment, housing, and public accommodations. In the remaining states, trans people can face legal discrimination. This includes things like “gay/trans panic” defense. This legal defense still exists in roughly 30 states, excusing violence based on bias.

    Now we approach weaponized visibility. Trans women are often hyper-visible, opening them up to new dangers. While trans men are erased, their existence ignored in public discourse, sports, and legislation. Both experiences mirror systemic abuse that fuels discrimination and violence.

    Honoring the Living While Remembering the Dead

    TDoR is both grief and affirmation. It memorializes those lost like Rita Hester, Monique Thomas, Marsha P. Johnson, Brandon Teena, Sam Nordquist, Nex Benedict, MJ Jackson and so many more. While still reminding us to support living trans people. History stretches from the Union Army to contemporary schools and workplaces, showing how erasure and resistance are deeply intertwined.

    Every name read on TDoR is a spark, every candle lit a defiance. We remember, we resist, and we build toward a world where no trans life is taken by hate.

    Trans history reaches further than most realize. Before the Nazis destroyed Berlin’s Institut für Sexualwissenschaft, trans people in Germany had access to pioneering medical care and advocacy resources. They of course were violently erased in the 1930s. Remembering these early efforts reminds us that trans existence and resilience predate contemporary struggles.

    This post highlights trans men more heavily than I typically would on a TDoR post. However I a trans man, only recently learned the historical trans men’s names let alone their histories. Figures like Billy Tipton, Albert Cashier, Sir Ewan Forbes, and Dr. Alan Hart lived powerful, often invisible lives, and their stories deserve visibility alongside the trans women who are too often hyper-visible and unsafe. For many trans men, history has quietly erased them and that invisibility is part of why this remembrance matters today.

    Poem about Sam

    Poem about trans people gone to soon

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  • Northern Lights Central Ohio: Grief and Gratitude

    Northern Lights Central Ohio: Grief and Gratitude

    Central Ohio Aurora Borealis: A Night of Surprise

    I woke up at 7 p.m. because my phone vibrated on the side of my face! Kelsey had been in a hit-and-run while door dashing. Thankfully I can get up and go because I left immediately to make sure they were okay. The car was drivable, and Kelsey was unharmed, but the shock of the situation was definitely hard on both of us. Later, we had friends over and they brought dinner! They also super helped us with the TV Bull crap. I think the good company made the evening a little easier managed.

    Not 3 minutes after she left, Kylie called (three doors down.) “You have to come outside! NORTHERN LIGHTS!” Both of them are bordering on giddy. I personally was skeptical and assumed it was going to be like the last few times we could see them… which was only in photos. But when they showed us on FaceTime we got up and got outside instantly. We actually had to walk down to their place to see them being that they were literally on top of our house.

    There were pink and green lights sweeping across the sky in Central Ohio?!!

    I now not one of us had ever seen the northern lights like that. They were bright, moving, and mesmerizing. The lights didn’t erase the weight of the day. The stress of a hit-and-run, the TV, and the ongoing grief of losing my mom on four years ago. However, they did offer a sudden, unexpected lift.

    Amid all the ordinary chaos and grief, the northern lights were a rare reminder that small bursts of beauty can matter deeply.

    Aurora Borealis Facts & Emotional Reflections

    Auroras, or the northern lights, occur when charged particles from the sun collide with gases in Earth’s atmosphere. Oxygen then produces green or red light, while nitrogen produces blue or purple. These collisions tend to occur near the poles because Earth’s magnetic field funnels the particles there. That being said seeing the aurora over Central Ohio is rare. Though solar storms and high solar activity can make it possible.

    Historical events like the Carrington Event of 1859 show us the power of geomagnetic storms. In extreme cases they produce auroras visible at unusually low latitudes. Telegraph systems across the globe failed during this event, and auroras were visible as far south as the Caribbean. This shows both the beauty and power of the sun interacting with our planet. The northern lights above our house were not of that degree though.

    The tie in is knowing to a lot of people grief and depression feel intertwined or undistinguishable from the other. But grief is episodic, typically tied to loss, and often unpredictable. This bad boy surfaces in waves that can crash with no warning.

    Depression on the other hand can be more persistent, a shadow that affects every part of life, dulling your favorite color and adding weight like nothing else. When I lost my mom in 2021 I was left with a steady ache that resurfaces, to go along with my depression, to go along with my seasonal affective disorder.

    Obviously this is especially worse for some people around death anniversaries, holidays and birthdays. But last night, the aurora brought a lightness, not a fix, but tiny pause in the heaviness. A small moment, bursts of joy, is bigger than you think. These things matter. Things like a friend’s call, a shared meal, or a flickering sky. The moments that anchor us to the ground when life piles on all its shit are usually the most profoundly simple .

    The day had been full of catastrophes. Kelsey’s accident, the TV, the ordinary weight of a difficult year. Tiny moments you’d often let pass unnoticed can fix your day. We let the northern lights force our attention, to them. This gave us pause, notice, and a quiet awe to share. It’s the contrast between chaos and beauty that makes such moments stand out.

    Looking up at the lights, the weight of the day shifted slightly. It isn’t erased. The TV, the wreck, the grief, the ordinary trials are still present. Just now with a reminder of wonder, of unpredictability, and of something bigger than routine and worry. It’s often the little things, like noticing a rare northern lights display, that make a day worth remembering.

    Life continues with its challenges. Grief continues to arrive, as does anxiety, tech failures, accidents, and the everyday weight of living.

    The Northern lights showing off insane red hues over central ohio
    The northern lights in central Ohio

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