Author: poeaxtry_

  • My ideal rough week and Earth’s Hidden Gems

    My ideal rough week and Earth’s Hidden Gems

    Describe your ideal week.

    There’s nothing like a week dedicated to hunting beauty. Whether that is from the rocks I am hounding or the falls we are chasing. We are surrounded by natural beauty and creative inspiration. My ideal l getaway unfolds somewhere with diverse geology. A place where I can find fossils in the morning and crystals or semiprecious stones in the afternoon, all while soaking in breathtaking landscapes and the suns rays.

    Dawn to Midday: The Hunt

    Each morning starts with Luna’s cold nose nudging me awake as first light filters through the tent. Kelsey stirs beside me, already reaching for the camp stove to brew coffee. Our campsite sits far from designated campgrounds and tourist trails just wilderness, silence, and possibility. Oh yea and a composting toilet.

    After a quick breakfast, I grab my field kit. The essentials hammers, chisels, brushes, and collection bags organized for efficiency or just Aldi bags (if I’m being honest). The morning hours belong to serious specimen hunting, when my eyes are a little more sharp and my patience abundant. Some days I explore exposed rock faces rich with marine fossils; other days I sift through creek beds for tumbled treasures or I chip carefully at promising outcroppings.

    Luna explores nearby, occasionally bringing me sticks instead of rocks (still working on her training after all this time). We like it out here since she doesn’t need a leash. My partner alternates between helping me search and capturing the landscape through their camera lens. We work in comfortable silence, occasionally calling each other over when something interesting appears.

    Midday to Afternoon: Water and Wonder

    When the sun climbs high and the day heats up, we transition to water exploration. A series of waterfalls create the perfect swimming holes. There are some shallow enough for Luna to splash in, others deep enough for proper diving. The cold water shocks against sun-warmed skin, creating that perfect contrast that makes you feel completely in the moment.

    After swimming, we spread our morning’s finds across sun-heated rocks to dry and examine. I pull out my loupe to inspect the details of particularly interesting specimens or finds. I love the crystalline structure of a geode, the delicate imprint of an ancient fern, and the perfect spirals of a fossil shell. Each piece tells a story millions of years in the making.

    Evening Rituals: Fire and Flow

    As afternoon fades, we return to camp to prepare for evening. May i build the perfect campfire while Kelso seasons thick-cut steaks with just rosemary, salt, and pepper. The simple preparation lets the quality of the meat speak for itself when it sizzles over open flames.

    With dinner preparations underway, I settle into my hammock strung between two sturdy pine trees. This is when I roll a blunt of quality green, taking slow, appreciative draws as I flip through my journal to go over notes for the day’s finds. The combination of physical exertion, successful discoveries, and gentle relaxation creates the perfect mindset for creativity.

    As twilight deepens, we feast on perfectly flame cooked steaks and fire-roasted vegetables. Luna lies nearby, gnawing contentedly on her own special treat, occasionally looking up to ensure her humans are still present.

    After dinner, the campfire becomes our center. My partner roasts marshmallows for s’mores while I pull out my laptop, the words flowing more freely here than they ever do in civilization. Poems about ancient oceans, the patience of stone, and the fleeting nature of human existence emerge onto the page.

    Days of Discovery

    Each day follows this rhythm but with different locations to explore. One day might focus on sedimentary layers rich with fossils; another might take us to mineral veins in metamorphic rock. We hike to panoramic overlooks where the landscape reveals its geological story in exposed strata.

    In the evenings, we alternate between different campsites, each offering its own unique character. We spend one night beside a waterfall, another on a ridge with sunset views, a third in a grove of ancient trees whose roots have witnessed centuries.

    The Essence of Escape

    What makes this week ideal isn’t just the specimens collected, though my bags grow heavier with treasures each day. It’s the rhythm of existence dictated by sunlight rather than screens, the deep conversations that emerge around campfires, and the way that disconnecting from everything else connects me more deeply to what matters: creativity, companionship, and the ancient stories told by stones.

    As the week concludes, I carefully wrap each specimen in paper, noting observations. But the real treasures are the filled digital journal pages, the renewed connection with kelso, Luna’s evident joy, and the lingering sense of peace that comes from a week lived exactly as we choose.

    This is freedom: rocks, water, words, love, and enough green to keep the edges soft. This is my ideal week.

    We all wear masks metaphorically speaking

    Poeaxtry’s🔗

  • You Missed the Call: A Reflection on Grief and Gratitude

    You Missed the Call: A Reflection on Grief and Gratitude

    In the journey of grief, certain moments hit harder than others. Today, I opened my Storia journal and found myself confronting one of those moments: a simple, yet devastating wish to hear my mother’s voice one more time.

    Pick Up the Phone, It’s Mom:

    Everyday I see people take their mothers for granted. They reject the call. They brush her off. “Oh no, next time.” But one day there won’t be a next time. I know they don’t get it yet, and so is life. Oh I fondly remember that, there was a time I didn’t get it either. 

    But now I’m on the side where I wish I could have one more call, one more “next time,” but it won’t ever come.

    And the grass isn’t greener at all; in fact, it’s dead over here incase you’re wondering. Yea, it’s dead.. I checked… just like my mom.

    And no, I’m not talking to those of you who have gone no contact. I’m looking at those with loving, caring, try-their-hardest (even if it’s their first go at life too) moms who put it off til next time. And I get it I had the superstar, that’s your number one fan type moms. And I’m sitting here telling you oh I regret and remember every single call I let go to voicemail or dog video I ignored.

    You’ll regret this one day too, maybe not tomorrow or even the next 100 tomorrows but one of them you will. And after that you’ll regret it for every tomorrow that you will live to see. Shit maybe more.

    And if you don’t, that means you’re one of the ones whose moms had to bury them.

    And that’s maybe even worse. Because now your mom had to bury you and you made her live life with one less conversation with her child. Yea that’s tough man. You’d do that to your mom? Ouch. But seriously call your mom… just to even tell her that I said hi and talk to her a bit. You know since I don’t have one to call.

    Just answer the phone or text next time it’s her. Maybe even act like you care… if not for her or you, do it for me, remember I’m gonna used the dead mom card again and say since I no longer can.

    Finding Space for Grief with Storia

    Processing these complex emotions becomes a little easier with tools that create space for reflection. The Storia journal app has become my digital sanctuary for these otherwise pent-up feelings and moments of grief or remembrance.

    What makes Storia stand out is how it takes journaling to a level that is nurturing yet practical . Each entry you make contributes to your digital garden. This means you begin maintaining a streak to grow virtual plants. These then flourish with your consistent reflections or journal entries. The app offers thoughtful prompts like “What area of your life you want to grow?”, “What brought you joy today?” , and “what are you grateful for today?” that gently guide you toward healing.

    I appreciate how Storia lets you create multiple journals with custom titles and covers. Therefore, my grief journal sits alongside my transition journal and my hiking log, each with its own purpose and tone. The “talk to journal” recording feature has been particularly helpful on days when typing feels too demanding but the words need to come out. Or I’m simply too busy to stop and type out my journals.

    For a free app, Storia offers remarkable customization options. You can choose different themes, colors, and even journal covers that match your mood or personality. Even allowing you to choose your own photos as covers as I did with my hiking journal. You can add photos to journal entries though I haven’t played wi this much so I am unaware of any specific limits. This is really cool because it doesn’t feel like a clinical tool but rather a companion on the journey.

    The Call We Can’t Return

    Grief teaches us about the finality of missed opportunities. While apps like Storia help us process these feelings, they can’t bring back the calls we didn’t answer or the conversations we’ll never have. Though they can help us feel closure and peace by getting the words out or processing the feelings we wouldn’t have known we needed to.

    If you still have the chance to pick up when your mom calls, consider it a gift. Definitely one that many of us would give anything to have again. Remember that sometimes the most profound act of self-care is caring for the relationships we still have, while we still have them.

    The next time your phone rings and her name appears on the screen, remember: some of us would trade anything for that moment you might be taking for granted.

    They paved paradise and put up a parking lot.

    Poeaxtry’s 🔗

  • Transgender and ally 16th Annual Symposium: Poetry Session Today!

    Transgender and ally 16th Annual Symposium: Poetry Session Today!

    The Join Us Today: “Poetry-Ink, Identity, and Insistence: Trans Creation as Survival and Defiance”

    I’m excited to share that I’ll be presenting at the TransOhio 16th Annual Transgender & Ally Symposium today at 3:15 PM in Room Aat Owens Community College in Perrysburg, Ohio!

    Session Details:

    • Title: Poetry-Ink, Identity, and Insistence: Trans Creation as Survival and Defiance
    • Presenter: Axton N.O. Mitchell (he/him)
    • Time: 3:15 PM
    • Location: Room A, Owens Community College, Perrysburg, Ohio
    • Date: September 6, 2025

    About My Session:

    As a published trans poet, I’ll be introducing two community projects I’ve built from the ground up. One specifically designed to uplift trans, gender non-conforming, intersex, and the other all marginalized creators. These projects provide completely free collaborative editing, formatting, and visual design services using Canva Pro, with contributors retaining full rights to their work.

    The During this session, I’ll cover:

    • How these publishing projects operate
    • The submission process
    • Ways to get involved (both as contributors and behind-the-scenes supporters)
    • Guidance on finding trustworthy submission opportunities
    • How to identify and avoid exploitative publishing practices
    • Information about our safe creative spaces, including our Discord community
    • Plans to transition these projects into paid opportunities

    While my speaking focus today is primarily on trans, GNC, and intersex experiences, our broader mission includes publishing works from all minority communities, with themed publications for specific individual groups of people.

    About the Symposium:

    The TransOhio Annual Symposium is specifically designed for transgender, nonbinary, gender non-conforming, and intersex individuals and their allies. The event features a wide range of sessions covering important topics for our community.

    Other exciting sessions today include:

    • Reimagining the American dream
    • Violence Prevention
    • Trans Sex and Relationships

    Personal Note:

    A huge thank you to my friend Dea for driving me to the symposium today! Community support makes events like this possible, and I’m grateful for allies who help us access these important spaces.

    I hope to see many of you there, either in person or virtually. These community gatherings are vital for our collective growth, healing, and empowerment.

    Join Our Creative Community:

    After the symposium, all attendees are invited to join our Discord space for writers and artists where we continue to build connections and support creative expression year-round.


    Axton N.O. Mitchell is a published trans poet and community publisher dedicated to uplifting marginalized voices through accessible, ethical publishing projects.


  • Fairfield County’s Hidden Gems: Historic and Natural

    Finding Peace After Recovery: A Full Day of Exploration

    With my shoulder finally feeling better after last week’s injection, Luna and I decided to make the most of the beautiful early September weather. Thursday (9/4) brought perfect conditions: mid-70s, partly cloudy, and a gentle breeze. This is ideal weather for exploring several of Fairfield County’s natural and historical treasures. What started as a simple outing turned into a full day of discovery across five distinct locations, each offering its own unique experience.

    Morning Wonder: Stebelton Park at Rock Mill

    Our day began at Stebelton Park at Rock Mill, home to one of Ohio’s most picturesque historic grist mills. This 1824 wooden mill stands dramatically above the Hocking River gorge, where the river drops 14 feet through a narrow passage of blackhand sandstone. The restored mill with its massive water wheel creates a perfect backdrop against the early autumn landscape.

    Old mill in Lancaster Ohio and a waterfall
    I love it

    Luna was particularly fascinated by the rushing water sounds as we walked the short trail along the gorge. The park’s compact size (just 13 acres) makes it perfect for a gentle morning exploration. We spent time watching the water cascade through the gorge while learning about the mill’s history from the informative signs. The combination of industrial history and natural beauty makes this spot uniquely appealing.

    Natural Beauty: Arney Run

    Our journey continued to Arney Run, a peaceful natural area in Fairfield County. This quiet spot features a winding creek through wooded terrain, offering a serene environment away from busier parks. Luna and I enjoyed a brief stop here, taking in the tranquil atmosphere and natural surroundings.

    The shaded paths provided a cool respite during our day of exploration. Though our visit was short, it was a pleasant addition to our tour of Fairfield County’s diverse landscapes.

    The area surrounding this is Christmas Rock & Jacob’s ladder. I have done the area once prior but No dogs allowed so we shall save it for another day.

    Two Glaciers Park:

    Next, we ventured to Two Glaciers Park, one of Fairfield County’s newer naturally areas. This fascinating geological site sits at the junction where two ancient glaciers met, creating a unique landscape of rolling hills and of course covered bridge number 3!

    Honoring the Past: Stonewall Cemetery

    Our journey took a contemplative turn at Stonewall Cemetery, a small historic burial ground dating back to the early 1800s. This peaceful site contains graves of some of Fairfield County’s earliest settlers and several Revolutionary War veterans.

    Though not a traditional nature stop, the cemetery’s ancient trees and quiet setting provided a moment for reflection. Many of the weathered headstones tell stories of the area’s first families, with dates reaching back to when Ohio was still frontier territory. Luna respectfully stayed on leash as we quietly observed this piece of local history.

    Broken headstones at the cemetery in Lancaster Ohio
    A peek through the gate.

    Afternoon Adventure: Slate Run Metro Park

    The highlight of our day came at Slate Run Metro Park in Canal Winchester. This 1,705-acre park features restored prairies, wetlands, forests, and a working historical farm. We chose the trail that loops around the lake and passes the park’s beautiful covered bridge.

    The 1.5-mile trail offered easy walking with spectacular views of the lake, where blue herons stood sentinel in the shallows. The covered bridge, though not original to the site, has been beautifully constructed in traditional style and makes for a perfect photo opportunity. Luna was particularly excited by the waterfowl activity on the lake and the varied scents along the trail.

    Red dog blue collar sits in front of the lack on a deck in Ohio
    Pretty baby!

    What makes Slate Run special is its diversity in one visit, you can experience: wetland ecosystems, prairie restoration, and historical farm life. Though we focused on the lake trail this time, the park offers over 7 miles of trails through various habitats.

    Ancient Mystery: Cross Mound Park

    Red dog with a blue collar sits in front of a stone bridge archway on a trail
    Luna Baby

    Our Fairfield County exploration concluded at Cross Mound Park, home to a mysterious ancient earthwork in the shape of a cross. This small but significant archaeological site preserves a Native American mound believed to be constructed between 800 and 1200 CE.

    The earthwork stands as a testament to the sophisticated cultures that inhabited Ohio long before European settlement. The short trail around the mound provides time to reflect about its possible significance and the peoples who may have created it.

    Luna and I walked the perimeter trail, taking in both the archaeological wonder and the surrounding natural area. There’s something profoundly moving about standing in a place that has held spiritual significance for over a thousand years.

    Bonus Stop: Circleville’s Octagon House

    As the day was still young, we decided to venture slightly south to Circleville in Pickaway County to visit the remarkable Octagon House. This unique eight-sided home built in 1856 represents a fascinating architectural movement popular in mid-19th century America, inspired by phrenologist Orson Squire Fowler who believed octagonal homes provided better lighting and ventilation.

    The house has been beautifully preserved, with its distinctive shape and period details intact. Though you can schedule a self-lead interior tour, Luna & I just enjoyed a walk around the grounds instead. The Octagon House stands as a reminder of America’s experimental architectural past and makes for a perfect historical complement to our day of natural exploration.

    The octagon house in Centerburgh Ohio
    It’s historic!

    Reflections on a Day Well Spent

    By day’s end, Luna and I had experienced a perfect cross-section of what central Ohio offers. The natural wonders shaped by ancient glaciers, historical structures that tell stories of early settlement, and sacred spaces that connect us to those who lived here thousands of years before. Each site, though relatively small, contributed to a rich tapestry of experiences that left us both happily exhausted.

    These people accessible locations prove that adventure doesn’t require epic journeys – sometimes the most meaningful explorations happen close to home, in the overlooked corners of familiar counties. As my shoulder continues to heal, I’m grateful for these gentle yet rewarding outdoor experiences that nourish both body and spirit.

    What hidden gems have you discovered in your own county?

    Have you visited any of these Fairfield County treasures?

    Share your local exploration stories in the comments!

  • Weekend Healing: Nature Walks After My Shoulder Treatment

    Weekend Healing: Nature Walks After My Shoulder Treatment

    Finding Gentle Recovery in Licking County’s Reserves

    After getting a shoulder injection that kept me from work, I needed to find a balance. The rest for recovery but not be locked down to the house to prevent myself going insane. The perfect solution? Low-impact nature walks with Luna at two of Licking County’s hidden gems. With temperatures in the low 70s, the weather couldn’t have been more perfect for gentle exploration.

    Friday’s Journey: Taft Reserve:

    Bumble bee in a purple flower
    Bzzz

    On Friday (8/29), Luna and I ventured to Taft Reserve in Licking County. This beautiful natural area is part of the Licking Park District and offers peaceful trails through biodiverse habitats. The reserve features a mix of woodlands and open areas, providing a perfect setting for a gentle recovery walk.

    Taft Reserve’s trails wind through the areas natural landscapes, offering peaceful surroundings without a super demanding terrain. This made it ideal for someone nursing a tender shoulder. Luna enjoyed exploring the various scents and sounds. On the other hand I appreciated the relatively flat sections that didn’t put strain on my healing shoulder.m

    What Makes Taft Reserve Special?

    Taft Reserve is one of Licking County’s natural treasures, offering visitors a chance to connect with nature without traveling far from Newark. The reserve provides habitat for local wildlife and native plants, creating opportunities for quiet observation even when moving at a slower pace due to recovery.

    The trails at Taft are well-maintained but retain a natural feel, allowing visitors to experience genuine woodland and meadow environments. Even with my limited mobility, we were able to enjoy a satisfying walk through diverse natural settings.

    Saturday’s Adventure: Denison Biological Reserve

    On Saturday (8/30), feeling slightly stronger, Luna and I explored the Denison University Biological Reserve in Granville. This 350-acre natural area has been maintained by Denison University since 1966. It serves as an outdoor laboratory for ecological research and education.

    The reserve contains several distinct ecosystems including deciduous woodlands, old fields, streams, and at least 2 ponds. The trail system is well-maintained but more rustic than formal parks, with paths that wind through research areas where students study ecology, biology, and environmental science. Though primarily maintained for research and education, the reserve welcomes respectful visitors.

    The Unique Features of Denison’s Reserve:

    What makes the Denison Biological Reserve special is its dedication to conservation and research. The reserve includes several distinct habitats, from early successional fields to mature woodlands. Trails vary in difficulty, but many sections were manageable even with my shoulder limitation.

    The reserve is home to diverse wildlife including white-tailed deer, various bird species, and numerous small mammals. Luna was particularly attentive to the many scents and sounds throughout our walk. The reserve’s commitment to maintaining natural processes means visitors can observe genuine ecological succession and natural communities. The field house totally has dog bowls for public use year round as well!

    How These Walks Supported My Recovery

    These two days in nature proved to be exactly what my body and spirit needed. The gentle movement kept my shoulder from stiffening completely while the natural surroundings provided a mental escape from discomfort. Luna’s companionship and joy in exploration reminded me that healing doesn’t have to mean complete inactivity.

    By Sunday, I noticed improved range of motion and decreased pain. And whether that was from the medical treatment finally taking effect or the therapeutic benefits of forest bathing? I can’t say for certain. What I do know is that these two reserves offered exactly the right medicine to complement my medical care.

    Have you found healing in nature after an injury or medical procedure?

    Which local trails do you recommend for gentle recovery walks?

    Share your experiences in the comments!

    Links

  • Are You Holding a Grudge? When Grief Becomes Sacred Anger

    Are You Holding a Grudge? When Grief Becomes Sacred Anger

    Are you holding a grudge? About?

    Yeah, I’m holding a grudge. A big fucking one.

    I’m holding a grudge against whatever deity, universe, or cosmic force decided it was okay for my mother to die when I was only 30. Actually, twenty-nine. It has been almost four damn years. I can’t believe it was eight days before my birthday and before my twin sister’s her youngest children were even 21. 

    And you know what? I will forever hold this grudge against whatever divine being made that choice. Because fuck them for taking the only thing I had to rely on, the only parent I ever really had.

    When Grief Becomes a Grudge:

    There’s something raw about admitting you’re angry at God, at fate, at the universe itself. Society tells us to “let go,” to “find peace,” to “accept what we cannot change.” But sometimes a grudge isn’t just anger…it’s love with nowhere to go.

    My grudge isn’t really about hatred. It’s about the unfairness of losing your anchor when you barely feel enough to understand what an anchor even is. It’s about growing old with a mother-shaped hole that no amount of hiking, poetry, self-help books, or well-meaning advice can fill.

    The Poetry of Anger

    In the witchy, spiritual communities I often steer clear of there’s a lot of pressure to be “love and light” all the time. But what about love and rage? What about the sacred anger that comes from being robbed of something precious?

    My grudge is a form of devotion. It says: “She mattered. Her absence matters. The injustice of her early death matters.” How the fuck is it fair she gets to die right after she experiences happiness? Right when she got clean? Like you have to be kidding me!

    Some grudges are worth holding and not because they serve us, but because they honor what we’ve lost.

    Questions for Your Own Journey:

    • What grudges are you carrying that might actually be love in disguise?
    • How do you honor your losses while still moving forward?
    • When has anger been a teacher rather than a burden?

    Sometimes the most honest spiritual practice isn’t forgiveness—it’s admitting that some wounds change us forever, and that’s okay too.

    Links

  • Why I Blog: Healing Through Words and Wilderness

    Why I Blog: Healing Through Words and Wilderness

    Why do you blog?

    Finding My Voice in the Digital Wilderness:

    At thirty-three, I never imagined I’d become someone who shares the intimate parts of my life online. Yet here I am, consistently showing up to write about grief, gender identity, and the healing power of hiking. If you’re wondering why someone would choose to be so vulnerable in public spaces, the answer is both simple and complex: because sharing our stories creates the connection and healing we all desperately need.

    When Grief Needs Witnesses:

    Losing my mother changed how I process emotions entirely. Suddenly I had all these feelings with nowhere to put them. Writing journal entries addressed to her felt worse than loosing her fake almost. So I started doing it differently. I discovered something powerful: I wasn’t the only person talking to someone who couldn’t talk back.

    Sometimes the most healing thing we can do is witness each other’s pain and say “me too.”

    Mountains as Medicine:

    My hiking posts might look like simple nature photography, but they’re actually documentation of my primary therapy. When emotions become overwhelming, I head to the trails. The physical exertion helps regulate my nervous system while natural beauty provides perspective impossible to find in urban chaos. And it’s something my mom and I loved to do together.

    Each trail represents a different emotional journey. Sharing these experiences shows others that outdoor activities can be powerful mental health tools, not just weekend recreation. Nature doesn’t judge your tears or your questions about who you’re becoming.

    Creating the Safe Spaces We Needed:

    The internet can be hostile, especially for transgender people navigating identity questions. By consistently sharing authentic content about my experiences, I’m creating the kind of safe space I desperately needed when I was younger and struggling alone.

    This extends beyond trans content. Writing honestly about grief, family estrangement, mental health struggles, and finding joy in simple moments creates multiple entry points for people who need to feel less alone. Safe spaces aren’t just physical locations; they’re emotional environments where vulnerability meets understanding instead of judgment.

    The Healing Power of Owning Your Story:

    Blogging forces me to articulate experiences that might otherwise stay tangled in my head. The writing process helps me understand my own emotions more clearly. When I write about complicated family relationships or gender identity struggles, I often discover insights that weren’t apparent until I found words for the experience.

    There’s something revolutionary about controlling your own narrative. For too long, other people told stories about what grief should look like, how men should process emotions, or what it means to be transgender. Blogging gives me ownership over how my experiences are presented and discussed.

    Building Community Through Shared Truth:

    The most unexpected benefit has been the community that formed around shared experiences. People reach out to tell their own stories of loss, identity questions, or finding peace in nature. These connections prove that individual healing contributes to collective healing when we’re brave enough to be honest about our struggles.

    Comments become support groups. Email exchanges turn into lasting friendships. Social media shares connect my words with people who needed to read exactly what I wrote on exactly the day they found it. This ripple effect makes the vulnerability of public writing feel worthwhile.

    Why This Matters:

    Some days blogging feels like shouting into the void. Other days it feels like the most important work I do. The consistency matters more than perfect posts. By showing up regularly to write about real experiences, I’m proving that our messy, complicated stories matter enough to be told with care.

    The combination of grief processing, outdoor therapy, and transgender experience sharing might seem random, but it reflects reality: human beings are complex. We don’t fit neat categories, and our healing doesn’t follow predictable patterns. My blog honors that complexity while creating content that might help others navigate their own beautiful, difficult lives.

    An Invitation to Connection:

    If you’re processing loss, questioning identity, struggling with family relationships, or finding healing in nature, you’re not alone. If you’re looking for authentic stories that don’t tie everything up with neat bows, this space is for you. If you need permission to feel complicated emotions about complicated situations, consider this your invitation.

    We heal in community, even when that community exists primarily in digital spaces. By sharing our real experiences, we create opportunities for others to feel seen, understood, and less alone in whatever they’re carrying.

    This is why I blog: to process, to connect, to heal, and to remind anyone who needs to hear it that their story matters too. Your struggles are valid. Your questions are welcome. Your healing journey deserves witnesses who understand that growth is messy, nonlinear, and absolutely worth sharing.

    Links

  • A Letter I will never send.

    A Letter I will never send.

    Personality:

    A poem about how somethings you do not grow out of.

    I am 33 

    Ohhhh no I am a grown man 

    & I never stopped writing poetry 

    about how much 

    My god damn dad sucks.

    Sorry kids sometimes 

    It’s just the way it is. 

    Some of us are cool enough 

    to keep the angst as our 

    entire personality. 

    The letter:

    Jake ,

    I’ve spent a lifetime waiting for you. Waiting on moms or grandmas porch until one of the two of them would no longer let me wait. Friday nights, dressed and ready, because you said you were coming. Then Saturday. Then Sunday. The same cycle of hope and disappointment that carved itself into my developing brain until doctors gave it a name: Borderline Personality Disorder. A condition born from abandonment between ages 5-17. A condition you created on your own with every promise broken.

    What’s my middle name? My second middle name? When’s my birthday? How old am I? What city do I live in? These aren’t trick questions – they’re the most basic facts about your child that you’ve never bothered to hold onto.

    I remember who wasn’t there when I broke bones, hit my first grand-slam, every time I was sick or sad. I remember who didn’t answer calls for days. I remember throwing fits, screaming and crying for you while my mother held me. I remember being used as your detective, held up to ex-girlfriends’ windows to report back who was inside. I remember your siblings giving me presents “from you” – but if they were truly from you, why didn’t you come too?

    Don’t forget Todd was always a savage – that’s why he caught you following him and mom and you stood on the bar and told everyone you were a pussy so you didn’t take that loss too” He always was my dad and it wasn’t ever you. And that’s why I called you dad 2 to your face, and there was nothing you could do.

    I remember a magistrate threatening my mom with jail if she didn’t get me to you, and I agreed because I didn’t want to hurt her. But at your house, I was always an outcast. I remember going to side jobs with you when I could because your wife was abusing me. I remember crying for you so many times, wrecking my mom’s house because I couldn’t understand: why didn’t you want a relationship with me like you had with your other kids?

    You had court-ordered visitation days set -up by you and still didn’t show up. That isn’t my mother’s fault. Whatever my mother did to you should have had no effect on your relationship with me. Yet you’ve spent years trying to blame her, as if I haven’t been an adult making my own choices for the last 14 years.

    I smoked weed in high school and you treated me like I was on crack, but when Matthew did the same thing, you had no problem with it. I was diagnosed with ADHD and you said it was “all BS” and my mom was crazy, but when Jacob had the same diagnosis, you accepted it without question.

    Remember when I had nowhere to go with your almost 2-year-old grandson? You told me it was “time to stretch my wings and leave the nest.” So at 18, a high school dropout with no license and no help, I gave up my rights to my son. Yet somehow Jason still lives with you and Jessica (with her kids) too? I guess even they trump me and your grandkid.

    I’ve watched you effortlessly try for everyone but me. I’ve seen your step-daughter share posts about what an awesome father you are to her. I’ve watched you accept your step-kids with open arms while shutting the door on me. What was wrong with me that made me so unwelcome when everyone else found a place in your life?

    You let your wife beat me . You let my step-cousin sexually assault me on Christmas Eve. You bribed me with car rides because you knew I just wanted to spend time with you, then you’d disappear for months.

    I didn’t choose you to be my dad, but you chose to have me. If you didn’t want the responsibility, you should have signed your rights away instead of keeping me hanging on, hoping you’d eventually show up consistently. You poked a whole in a condom for all of this?

    I don’t want your money. I don’t want your excuses. I don’t even want your apology anymore. What I wanted was a father who showed up, who knew me, who protected me, who made me feel like I mattered as much as your other children.

    That ship has sailed. I got to meet and know the parent who was there for me. I don’t have any desire to be around a deadbeat who doesn’t even know what city I live in.

    One day you might regret never actually knowing me. Or maybe you won’t. Either way, I’m done waiting by the window.

    Your oldest son.

    Oh yea and dad P.S.

    I’d let you go to the worst nursing home in the world before I ever thought to help you.

    Oldest son:

    A poem about how one transgender man grew up to be the man he wished would have raised him, but own his own.

    Meanwhile, I am thirty three,

    One would assume it’s about time I get over my chronic case of 

    Teenage angst. 

    I am not even sure if I  could 

    Call it that, anymore. 

    Pick your face up off the floor 

    Your oldest so became a man

    And 

    You never had to hold my hand 

    I wasn’t potty training until  9 

    You never had to lie about my 

    Age to hide the statutory 

    Rape

    But

    I would say that I hate you 

    add I do 

    Repeat that pretty frequently

    It’s easier than explaining the

    Nothingness I feel  when it

    Comes to you

     

    I  won’t let anymore of the  

    Daughter you never got to knows

    Tears fall out of your oldest 

    sons eyes

    They aren’t mine to cry. 

    In high school I struggled 

    When the numb feeling would 

    Overcome me 

    And everything. 

    For once I feel nothing, and I don’t

    Want to feel anything. 

    It’s comforting. 

    Back then

    I did not yet discover 

    My brain had the ick 

    And it was you that 

    Made me 

    S

    I

    C

    K

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  • Tears of Joy: Trans Representation in Media

    Tears of Joy: Trans Representation in Media

    When was the last time a piece of media moved you to tears? For me, it was discovering Warbel’s powerful song “The Village.” As a transgender man navigating a world where authentic representation feels like a distant dream, finding this song was like discovering water in a desert.

    The Moment Everything Changed:

    “The Village” isn’t just another song with trans themes tacked on as an afterthought. It centers trans male experiences with dignity and complexity that could only come from genuine understanding. The music itself seems to comprehend the trans experience on a cellular level. It’s in the progression, build-up, tension, and release mirroring the emotional journey many trans men experience.

    Even years later, hearing this song brings tears to my eyes. The authentic language avoids clinical terminology in favor of expressions that resonate with lived experience. The emotional honesty acknowledges both struggle and triumph without falling into tragedy or unrealistic perfection.

    Visual Storytelling That Honors Our Truth:

    The music video elevates the representation further by avoiding tired tropes or exploitative imagery. Instead of cisgender actors attempting to portray experiences they’ve never lived, the authentic casting features actual trans individuals. This choice immediately enhances the emotional resonance while maintaining respect for trans experiences.

    The Healing Power of Being Truly Seen:

    There’s something profoundly therapeutic maybe even cathartic about seeing your experience reflected authentically in art, especially after years of invisibility and misrepresentation. This recognition reduces isolation and fosters self-acceptance when you see trans experiences portrayed positively and with nuance.

    The community that forms around these discoveries becomes part of the healing process. Connecting with others who were similarly moved creates networks of support and shared understanding that extend beyond the media itself.

    Setting New Standards for Representation:

    Warbel’s approach to “The Village” establishes new standards for how mainstream media can and should authentically portray trans experiences without sacrificing artistic quality. Its success encourages other creators to approach trans stories with similar care and authenticity, gradually changing the landscape of representation across various platforms.

    Beyond entertainment, this authentic representation serves an important educational function. It helps cisgender audiences understand trans experiences through emotional connection rather than clinical explanation, potentially reducing prejudice and increasing acceptance.

    The Ally Behind the Art:

    While Warbel himself isn’t transgender, his decision to create authentic trans male representation demonstrates a deeper understanding of allyship. In an industry where trans stories are often told without trans voices, his approach suggests genuine collaboration rather than performative inclusion.

    The care evident in both song and video indicates extensive consultation with trans communities and a dedication to getting the representation right. His willingness to center trans experiences rather than his own perspective shows a mature understanding of how privilege can be used responsibly.

    The Power of Being Seen:

    Each time I listen to “The Village,” I’m reminded of the transformative power of authentic representation. In a media landscape that has too often ignored or stereotyped trans experiences, works like this stand as beacons of validation.

    The tears of joy that come from being truly seen represent something larger than a single emotional moment. And they represent hope for a future where authentic portrayals become the norm rather than the exception. That’s why trans representation matters so profoundly for our community and culture.

    What songs have brought you to tears of joy through their representation? Share your story in the comments below?

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  • The Spill: Vol. 8- TransOhio, New Zines, and More

    The Spill: Vol. 8- TransOhio, New Zines, and More

    Trans Ohio Symposium Announcement:

    I’m honored to announce that I’ve been approved to speak at the upcoming Trans Ohio Symposium. This marks my First time presenting, and I’m eager to contribute to this vital conversation.

    Quick Backstory:

    I slammed this zine together for the Symposium and edited it in under a week. I still managed to work my five 12-hour night shifts and then drove all the way to the Red River Gorge after work on Wednesday morning. Yes, following my Tuesday night shift. Explored rock hounded, collected a bank of amazing views, wandered trails, and didn’t make it home until 3 a.m. Thursday. I then still got everything ready and out the door. To the TransOhio Dropbox for set-up. That’s the kind of grind behind these projects.

    Exploring New Community Platforms:

    I’m actively seeking more inclusive and functional community platforms beyond Discord. Currently, I’m considering:

    • Engayge: nonprofit social networking platform designed for LGBT+ communities. Offers Business listings and events with an aim to uplift the LGBT+ community through connection, resources, and support.

    • Twitch: For streaming and connecting live with community members, potentially for readings and discussions.

    • Sup: Community app providing support and connection for individuals facing life challenges.

    I’ll share updates once I test these platforms to see which align best with our community’s needs.

    Amino App Warning

    It’s important to note that Amino has serious safety concerns. The app has been repeatedly flagged for predator activity, ineffective moderation, and exposure of users, particularly minors, to unsafe situations. Reports from parents and monitoring groups highlight grooming incidents, inappropriate content, and predatory behavior as ongoing risks. Due to these verified safety issues, Amino is not a recommended space for community engagement, especially for youth.

    New Zine Releases

    I’m thrilled to share the latest zine Zipper Titty, following my model separating zines from e-books. It includes six add-ons, one of which is a collector image unique to this edition.

    Additionally, a new zine is in the works & shhhh, it is a secret for now, a little different from my usual style, so stay tuned.

    Recent Poetry Highlights

    • Miss Me With It – On toxic friendships and moving on. Read it here.

    • Them – Reflections on falling in love with my partner and cherishing the moments of true happiness.

    • Yuletide Fire – My contribution to Forever With Pride, coming in the Christmas Catalog.

    Voices for the Voiceless & The Joy They Can’t Erase

    These zines remain central to my work, amplifying marginalized voices and celebrating resilience and joy. They’re available for anyone seeking powerful, inclusive narratives. To contribute to until 12/12/25 at least.

    Closing Thoughts

    There’s a lot on the horizon: new platforms, zines, poetry, and adventures.
    Thank you for being part of this journey, for reading, and for supporting these projects.
    Stay tuned for more updates, and keep exploring with me! 

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