My First Surgery: Top Surgery and My Mother’s Care

The first surgery I ever had was my double mastectomy aka top surgery, with Dr. Brandon Reynolds in Las Vegas, NV.

I remember how everything slowed down when I was being pushed into the procedure room. It wasn’t just medical. It wasn’t cosmetic. It was survival. I wasn’t trying to become someone new. I was cutting away what never belonged to begin with. I was unburdening myself of a silence stitched into my chest.

My mom flew in to take care of me. That part still guts me sometimes. She didn’t hesitate. She came with snacks and soft words, helped me drain tubes, held space when I couldn’t hold anything else. She never made it weird. Never made it feel like I had to explain. She just showed up with love and candy and hugs and steady hands. That kind of care doesn’t leave your bones. I didn’t know it then, but I’d hold that memory close on darker days, especially after losing her.

That surgery gave me the kind of breath I didn’t know I’d been holding for most of my life. It was the beginning of my real reflection looking back at me. It was painful, messy, healing, and holy. It was mine. The next photos will be me fully healed in 2022 pre- and post-chest tattoo. After that, there will be a 4-day post-op photo. It shows a little swelling, bruising, and bodily fluids. It might not be suitable if you are squeamish.

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