Poeaxtry's Prism

Spell. Stone. & Sparks that Ignite Change

Tag: National Coming Out Day

  • Part Two- National Coming Out Day Reflection

    Part Two- National Coming Out Day Reflection

    The Second Coming Out

    National Coming Out Day isn’t just about one announcement. It’s about every version of ourselves we’ve had to reintroduce to the world and to ourselves.

    This is Part 2 of my coming out story. The first time, I came out as a lesbian. This time, I came out as me.

    The Second Time Someone Saw It Before I Did

    I was 19 when I met an out trans man for the first time. It was at a wedding, and he came up to me like he already knew something I didn’t.

    He said, “Oh my god, it’s so cool to meet someone like us in public.”

    I glitched. I remember thinking, What does he mean, “like us”? I didn’t think he was right, but I also couldn’t stop thinking about it. I wasn’t aware he was trans I just saw a cis man and I was so confused.

    It was one of those moments that doesn’t make sense until years later.

    The Quiet Realization

    Fast forward to when I was 21. I was in an online community space surrounded. This man was filming a Q&A video, answering random questions, when it just… hit.

    I started asking the influencer questions about t and transitioning etc.

    And I thought, Wait a minute. Maybe that guy was trans at the wedding.

    I laughed it off at first. Said thing to myself like, “No, bro.” But, Deep down, I knew something had shifted.

    That’s when I realized: I wasn’t a lesbian who looked masculine. I was a trans man who had finally found the words for what had always been there.

    Transition and Transformation

    At the time, I was in a long-term relationship with a lesbian partner. I didn’t say anything right away. I didn’t feel like I had the space to explain myself.

    My identity wasn’t up for debate, and it didn’t need validation to be real.

    A little while later, I moved to Las Vegas, started testosterone, and began living fully as myself. Two years after that, I got top surgery.

    Now, I’ve been on T for almost 11 years, and post-op for nearly 9.

    No spectacle. No huge reveal.

    I just made a post, changed my name everywhere, and kept living.

    Coming out as a trans man wasn’t some cinematic event. It was quiet, steady, necessary.

    It was me updating my social media, me existing without apology, me living a truth that had been simmering under the surface since long before I even had the language for it.

    Every year on National Coming Out Day, I think back to both moments. To the young girl who came out as a lesbian, and the man who came out as himself.

    Both were acts of courage. Both were survival. Both were me.

    Coming out isn’t a one-time performance. It’s a lifetime of peeling back layers until you recognize yourself: fully, completely, without shame.

    I came out twice.

    Once for who I loved.

    Once for who I am.

    And both times, I chose to live.

    Because that’s what coming out really is. It is choosing life, truth, and freedom, again and again.

    A man and his first chest binder
    A man and his first chest binder

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  • Part 1 — National Coming Out Day Reflection

    Part 1 — National Coming Out Day Reflection

    The Beginning of Owning My Truth

    In eighth grade, I told my best friend at the time that I had to tell her something. Before I could even say it, she looked at me and said, “What, you like girls?”

    No duh, me too.

    That moment was my quiet entry into honesty. It was not a big speech, not a dramatic scene, just truth spoken aloud. I told a few other friends. Most didn’t care, one freaked out a little. You know, the classic “ew, we slept in the same bed!?” comment. In my usual fashion, I just told her, “Yeah, no shit. Doesn’t mean it was anything weird. Just because I’m gay doesn’t mean I’m into all girls.”

    It wasn’t some grand parade or rainbow banner moment. I just stopped hiding it from all my homies.

    High School and Small Town Silence

    I grew up in small-ass Martins Ferry, Ohio. A tiny town, tight gossip circles, everyone knowing everyone’s business. I graduated in 2010, and there were maybe three out lesbians in my class. The rest were “straight in public” or “hush-hush about it.”

    I wasn’t loud about my sexuality in high school. But the moment I was no longer a student, I made my Facebook and MySpace say “interested in women.” No more hiding, no more pretending. Just existing.

    Family Reactions and Reality Checks

    My mom’s best friend was a lesbian who came out in the early 1980s, so she didn’t have much to say beyond not wanting it “broadcasted” to my little sisters. They were nine at the time. But my younger cousins told them. It wasn’t like they knew better.

    One sister said she didn’t care. The other said “ew,” but she got over it fast enough. Kids echo what they hear. And they learn what we show them.

    But there was one adult man, a friend of my mom’s. He was much older than me, always joking that he’d “take me on a date when I turned 18.” Everyone would laugh like it was harmless. I knew it wasn’t.

    Sure enough, once I turned 18, he messaged me on Facebook asking me out. I told him, “Dude, I’m with my girlfriend. I’m gay.”

    He flipped out, said I “lied” instead of just saying no. But I wasn’t lying. I was telling the truth, my truth. But he just couldn’t handle it.

    Looking Back on Coming Out

    Back then, coming out wasn’t about attention or pride flags. It was about not lying anymore. It was survival in small-town Ohio. And being honest even if nobody clapped for it.

    When I think about National Coming Out Day, I think about that moment in eighth grade. The one where I said, “Yeah, I like girls.” I think about every time after that when I had to say it again. Whether that was to friends, to family, to strangers who thought they had a say in it.

    This is Part 1 of my story… the first step in a much longer journey.

    Part 2 will come later today. It’s about when I came out again, not as a lesbian.

    Because coming out isn’t one moment. It’s a lifetime of moments: each one a little braver, a little louder, a little more you.

    Today, on National Coming Out Day, I remember that younger version of me. Who was scared, quiet, and honest anyway. The one who chose quiet truth in small towns where everyone knew your name.

    I came out as a lesbian first. I came out as myself second. Both are chapters worth telling. Both matter.

    Because every story of coming out whether it’s whispered, shouted, or written down… reminds someone else they’re not alone.

    Stay tuned for Part 2: Coming Out as me.

    When Axton first came out socially as transgender female to male. The start of a era