This poem was written on 1/09/2026 while reflecting on the thin space right before everything tips. The moment when your body knows something is about to break, even if the world around you sees nothing. I was referencing the stopped BPD splitting with controlled breathing and willpower. However, this could reference any different type of mental illness that sends you into something outside of your normal.
For me, this moment often comes with a strange laugh, or a quiet giggle. The nervous echo before a split, a spiral, or a panic surge takes over. It is the warning bell my nervous system rings when I am about to lose myself.
Instead of letting it crash, I try to let it breathe.
The more I do breathing work. The more I work at it, the more successful of a tool it is, for me.
That breath is not always peaceful, though; it is a decision. A small, private act of staying true to me. The kind no one claps for, because no one even knows it happened.
This poem is for anyone who has ever held themselves together in silence, who felt the wave rising and chose, just for that moment, to stay upright.
If you had a freeway billboard, what would it say?
My billboard would read:
Publishing, Poetry, Paganism, and People – The Poeaxtry Prism Planet.”
Read more below to see the full story as to why…
Witchcraft and spirituality do not live in perfect aesthetics or mass-produced one size fits all spell bags. It lives where people are actually doing the work. Showing up in kitchens, backyards, workbenches, forests, streams and quiet moments where you can still feel the old world coming through.
Poeaxtry is where the people are. This brand and motto exist at the intersection of paganism, queer identity, advocacy spirituality, handmade tools, and real-world practice to name just a few. Nothing here is meant to be distant, polished, or untouchable. It’s meant to be used, held, worked with, and questioned.
This space is rooted in paganism, shaped by personal experience, and expressed through divination, ritual services, and objects made by hand with purpose.
Heathen or person from a rural person has a new meaning in recent years.
What Paganism Actually Is
Paganism is not one religion, and it has never been a single organized system. Historically and in modern practice, paganism is used to refer to a wide range of spiritual paths. These paths are usually nature-based, earth-honoring, and often inspired by pre-Christian traditions.
Modern paganism is usually experiential rather than dogmatic. People build their practice through relationship with land, seasons, ancestors, symbols, and personal intuition. There is no universal rulebook and no requirement to worship a specific deity.
That flexibility is not a flaw. It is the point.
Paganism shows up in Poeaxtry and the Prism, through intention, honoring nature, creation, ritual, divination, the way each item or service is created, and layered into digital and physical literature collections as well. My work is grounded, practical, and personal. Never performative.
Paganism and Wicca Are Not the Same Thing
This is one of the most misunderstood topics, so it matters to be clear.
Wicca is a specific religion that developed in the mid-20th century, drawing from ceremonial magic, folklore, and older pagan imagery. It has defined rituals, ethical frameworks, and religious structure.
In early Wiccan practice, this rule was often a matter of social etiquette in leu of cosmic law. If a witch did you a favor, you’d be socially tied to return it three times. Pagans argue that turning this into a karmic law or seemingly Christianity related was a later reinterpretation meant to give Wicca a structured, “acceptable” morality.
Christian Morals?
Prominent pagan people gave saidthat Gerald Gardner would invented “ancient” laws to manage coven issues and improve his PR. Non-Wiccan pagans, like myself, and some other believers in the craft feel a universal “law” where actions return exactly threefold… is an oversimplification. Some even see it as a guideline to scare “newbies” into a “non-harmful” practices. This one’s gonna make some people mad, and I’m not sorry about it. The law of three feels like an attempt to make Christians and other people who believe in Abrahamic religions less scared of them.
Paganism the Umbrella term
Just small side note on the fact that I have two identifiers that are umbrella terms, and that’s kinda cool if you think about it like I do.
Paganism is the larger umbrella. Wicca exists within, that being said paganism itself contains more layers than your favorite cake. A good amount of paths that have nothing to do with Wicca at all.
Some pagans work with deities, others don’t. Practicing Pagans magick. Seasonal, ritual or even ancestral reverence. Eclectic, and Celtic Pagans. Don’t forget Norse, Heathenry, and Hellenism. Kemeticism, an ancient Egyptian form of paganism, and Religio Romana. Yes the Roman’s had a paganism based belief system as well!
There’s Druidry, whose focused is nature, poetry, and divine inspiration (Awen), though this is typically less spell work more scholar. This isn’t the complete list.
Poeaxtry is pagan-rooted but not Wiccan. I am more of an Eclectic Pagan if I had to choose. We choose our own path, a curated list of what works for us, from (ethical, not closed) traditions. You can runes, pendulums, smudging herb sticks you dry yourself, let’s use something other than white sage please.
White Sage is native to Southern California and is sacred to the Chumash, Tongva, and Gabrieleno, indigenous tribes of that region.
Indigenous people were legally banned from practicing their own religions, this included burning sage for decades. It is very disrespectful for their very oppressors to now sell it. Then use it as a trend while the Chumash, Tongva, and Gabrieleno, tribes still struggle for land and rights.
Tell me in the comments where your practice live? The trees? A seat at your kitchen table?
Or
You could share one belief or practice you’ve reclaimed on your own terms.
Any and all engagement & community building welcome!
Tarot and Pendulum Readings
Divination is not about predicting an unchangeable future. Through time, tarot and pendulum work have been tools for reflection, clarity, and energetic awareness.
Tarot readings offered through Poeaxtry focus on helping people understand patterns, choices, and influences already present in their lives. The cards do not make decisions for anyone. They create a conversation.
Pendulum readings are simpler and more direct. They are often used for energetic checking, alignment, or focused yes-or-no questions. I have custom boards for more in-depth responses and questions. For people who want clarity without overwhelm.
These services are offered as support tools, not as definitive guides or fixes and NEVER as medical information.
Spell Jars and Spell Bags
Spell jars and spell bags are symbolic containers, holding intention, focus, and material correspondence. They do not replace personal effort or responsibility.
Each piece created at Poeaxtry by Axton is assembled intentionally, using organic herbs and natural materials whenever possible. That is handcrafted in small batches, based on vibe. They are meant to be worked with, carried, placed, or incorporated into personal ritual.
They are reminders and anchors, not promises.
Ritual Services and Spiritual Work
Rituals offered by Axton through Poeaxtry are grounded in purpose with intention. These can include personal rituals, seasonal observances, or energy-focused work designed to help people mark transitions, release stagnation, or set intention.
The goal is to create something meaningful and usable for real life.
Handmade Tools and Body Work
Hand-whittled wands are shaped by the wood itself. Grain, knots, and natural form guide the process. Each wand is made slowly and deliberately, not carved into uniform shapes. Each wand base is foraged, and whittled, and crafted by me alone.
Natural body sprays are crafted with botanical ingredients and intended for grounding, energetic refresh, or ritual use. They are not overloaded with synthetic fragrance or filler.
Organic herbal tinctures are prepared using traditional methods and plant knowledge. These are not trend products. They are rooted in respect for the plants themselves and the people who use them.
Stone Work and Found Creations
Stones are collected, cleaned, sliced, or polished using tumblers or hand tools, then transformed into something new. Some are functional. Some are symbolic. Some are simply meant to make people smile.
The Stony Homies exist for that exact reason. Spiritual work does not need to be humorless to be sincere.
Wreaths and Earth-Based Art
Crystal, bone, seasonal, vibe based wreaths and nature-based creations honor cycles, thresholds, and change. Materials are chosen with awareness of season and environment whenever possible. These pieces are not meant to last forever. Their impermanence is part of their meaning.
Why Poeaxtry Exists in Paganism
Poeaxtry exists because spirituality should be lived, not staged.
At Poeaxtry the work is handmade, imperfect, intentional, and grounded. It honors pagan roots without pretending there is only one correct way to practice. It leaves room for curiosity, humor, and personal meaning.
Poeaxtry is where the people are because that is where real magic lives.
Through tarot, ritual services, handmade tools, herbal work, stone creations, and earth-based art, Poeaxtry supports people who walk their own spiritual path without needing permission or polish.
This is living practice. Made by hand. Used by real people.
Share this with someone who’s still trying to untangle Paganism from the stereotypes.
Or
With someone who is untangling Paganism from Propaganda
Poeaxtry creations! Handmade items, digital collections, Tarot & Pendulum Readings, and more. Physical items only on Etsy! Readings only on Pay-hip/Gumroad. Digital collections on all three as well as kindle/amazon and Google!
At Poeaxtry_, I like to say that one of our mottos is “Poeaxtry_, where the people are.” But did I ever explain what that actually boils down to?
Simply put: I don’t want to force anyone to find me. I want people who might be interested in reading, submitting, creating, or even just engaging with the emotional, hiking, or other free content I share, to discover me naturally and connect in their own way.
That’s why I post the digital creations, and photos or videos I capture with my phone across social platforms. These posts share the highlights in text on the visual media, summaries in the captions, and links to read more if interested on my website. This site holds the “meat and potatoes,” also known as the full content. This leaves my work accessible to all fully in one place that doesn’t anyone to create an account to view. However subscribers to the website do receive a reward, but I’m probably getting ahead of myself. We’ll get all of that and more soon!
Quality is Key
There’s a difference between followers and believers, between noise and signal, between people who swipe and people who stay. Subscribers mean nothing when the numbers aren’t noticing or notifying. Numbers are nothing if they aren’t the people you resonate with.
This post is a deep dive into the kinds of creators, readers, contributors, critics and community members who thrive at Poeaxtry_ and The Poetry Prism. I’m including a small reminder of our ethos that holds it all together.
This isn’t about chasing numbers or chasing dopamine. It’s about quality, intention, and connection.
Who Thrives Here?
Readers Who Connect.
People who may read something more than once to see what else is hiding.
They look for depth over new discovery, connection over content trends.
They pause, reflect, and engage with work that might challenge societies views or refuse pretend peacefulness.
Creators Who Make With Purpose
Not hobbyists. Not algorithm chasers.
They craft poems like prayers, build zines like love letters, or publish work that has purpose.
These creators make not for only applause, but because their work demands to hold space.
Marginalized Voices & Intersectional Art
We built this space because such spaces were scarce:
LGBTQ+ voices, Disabled creatives, Neurodivergent makers, people in recovery, creators of color, and other communities America keeps attacking.
This is visibility with intention, support with structure, and room without hierarchy.
Contributors & Collaborators Who Grow Together
This is a working ecosystem, not a pond of competitors.
Here, people:
Give and receive constructive feedback, look at success as mutual elevation, respect identities, collaborate while creating creative comrades, compete in creative showdowns, and much more.
Algorithm chasing creators who aren’t the same as creative people they are much different.
If your goal is to rage bait or chase clicks, this space isn’t for you.
We value substance over fake.
The “I’m above you” energy? Not going to fly here.
Harm, Discrimination, Prejudice
We do not tolerate dehumanizing behavior.
Bigotry or discrimination that is based on race, gender, sexuality, disability, mental health, or any other immutable identity ends your collaboration here immediately.
This is a safe creative community no slut shaming, body shaming, or politics. Transgender identity isn’t politics if you think so I don’t think you need me to tell me shit,
poeaxtry’s website (updated first) Shared to mainstream & emerging social platforms Direct community spaces Publishing & sales: Amazon/Kindle, Google Play Books, Etsy, Gumroad, Payhip
At Poeaxtry_ we are not tied to a single platform, always expanding.
Community Spaces & Engagement
I’m building safe, collaborative spaces for writers, artists, and makers:
Discord with Collaborative threads, competitions, open mic nights, custom roles for interactions, and more. Feedback invited, not forced; silence allowed. Rest & presence valued over performance always.
Publishing & Opportunities
Poeaxtry’s Poetry Prism offers:
Free publishing for minority indie creators: poetry, prose, visual art, mixed media, experimental work and Indie spotlights for indie creatives and small businesses Collaborative projects, resource sharing, critique circles
2026 Initiatives
Our new Quarterly digital magazine with open submissions, my own features, resource guides, advice sections addressing current issues, and open budget friendly calls for submissions.
Also be looking for virtual and local open mic nights
This is the ecosystem for those who thrive here creating, collaborating, connecting, and building together.
Values Hold Poeaxtry_ Together
Integrity, respect, care.
Bigotry, discrimination, or harm ends collaboration immediately.
We realistically can’t do full vetting or background checks but we know the truth surfaces naturally. Then we will act accordingly.
This isn’t a growth strategy.
This is a creative home for people who:
Read meaningfully, create with care, connect generously, and Build community over content creating trend climbing.
Your voice matters here. So if it’s genuine, grounded, and human come connect !
Shifting the Prism’s Collaborations Into a Quarterly Publication
The why behind Collaborations
I launched community collabs with one goal to create publications for marginalized voices to be heard. (I wanted to help their art be seen too, of course, and their business be found.) To be read by others would then be able to find voices similar to their own. Themed calls gave structure, that I thought would help. However, I like art when the creator feels compelled to create it, not when it’s created per a submission theme.
Why I’m Changing the Model
It became clear that themes sometimes act as invisible boundaries. They shaped not only what people created, but who felt comfortable submitting. Themes feel a bit too much like gatekeepers, for my comfort. Hear me out, you had to fit the art, poem, or essay in like a key based on theme.
That contradicts who I am or whom I want to be. I want this space to belong to the creators themselves. I want to invite people to bring what’s real. What’s needed, even if it doesn’t fit.
So I decided: no more themes. Instead, I’m opening Poeaxtry up to open‑theme quarterly magazines. I was already planning a Quarterly & this fits the bill.
Any suggestions on names? Guesses welcome!
This change isn’t a retreat. It’s expansion. By removing themes, the door stays open wider for more voices, more art, more perspectives. By increasing frequency, I can amplify more people across time.
rights stay with creators: you keep your work. Poeaxtry curates and publishes but does not claim ownership or restrict distribution. Contributor bios, links, and photos welcome!
Free ads space to minority‑owned shops, indie authors, small businesses to support community visibility.
Digital magazine format means no forced downloads Eliminates 4 bulky PDFs a year. Always Viewable online Readers & Contributors now can share by link
2026 Quarterly Schedule
(Submission + Publication Dates may change slightly!)
Q1 2026 (First Edition)
Taking submissions: now– Feb 12, 2026
Launch: Mar 8–15, 2026
Q2 2026 (Second Edition)
Taking submissions: March 9-May 5th
Launch: Jun 5–12, 2026
Q3 2026 (Third Edition)
Taking submissions:Jun 5 – Aug 5, 2026
Sep 5–12, 2026
Q4 2026 (Fourth Edition)
Taking submissions: Sep 5 – Oct 31, 2026
Launch: Dec 5–12, 2026
Note: The first edition will include existing submissions from the original themed collabs. It will also include any new open-theme submissions received during the submission window. Future editions will be fully open‑theme. The last quarter is stretched out because of holidays, birthdays, and death days.
What This Means for Contributors & Community
You’re free to send your work when you feel ready. This includes poetry, art, essays, and prose, just like before, just no need to match a theme. The spotlights from the website will be shared in the quarterly as well. The magazine lives online, shareable by link. More frequent releases = more opportunities for visibility, community building, connection.
What Happens to the Original Themed submissions?
Their submitted work will be included in the first quarterly edition as long as they consent.
No more waiting. Just art, voices, visions.
Your Voice Matters, Always
Poeaxtry was born from a belief that the best art comes from the darkest places. That minority voices of every difference have stories and voices that matter. Lastly, to build a community for all of us to share our creations with each other and the world.
This shift isn’t a change of heart, it’s evolution. As the world shifts, as art shifts, as voices shift, we must too…
Shift.
If you’re a minority artist, an ally writer, a survivor turned storyteller. Send in your voices or visions to Poeaxtryspoetryprism@gmail.com or submit this form.
Small business owners, entrepreneurs, indie-creatives, communities, etc. send your ads to the above email or form as well!
To have a Spotlight post on the website fill out this form or email Poeaxtry@gmail.com To review ebooks and other digital items in exchange for honest reviews, use this form
Thank you for being here. Let’s start building community.
I’ve been sitting with two new works that each bite a little deeper than usual. I’m knee-deep in human monster imagery, hallucinations on pages, and the smut and horror that cut both ways. You know me, I wanted to open the door a little wider. So I’m writing a body type horror that lives in our daily habits. It relates to simple acts like unwrapping a straw. It includes the tear of opening a ketchup packet and even the crack of a water bottle seal. I’ve been calling this new project “I Wonder.” I noticed how often the mundane is one blink away from becoming brutal.
If you know me, you know I love splatter-punk and horror gore. It felt right to try my hand at a different kind of poetic violence. Some grow out of the everyday rituals we never think twice about. Others are manifested by our own misery and deprivation.
It’s time to bring readers into the process.
Beta Readers, ARC Readers, and Street Team Sign Ups
I’m building three small but mighty teams. Each has a clear role, clear expectations, and a few thank-you bonuses from me.
If you want in:
Email me at poeaxtry@gmail.com, or fill out the form(s) linked in this post. You can pick more than one or just one, whatever fits your schedule.
Beta Readers
You get the raw draft, the crooked edges, the parts still dripping. You tell me what stumbles, what hits, what confuses, what claws at you in the right way.
You get:
• Early access to the rough manuscript
• A digital finished copy upon release
• Your name in the digital acknowledgments
• A private PDF of cut pieces, alternate lines, or deleted stanzas, exclusive to beta members
ARC Readers
You get the polished version right before launch. Your main task is simple, read and leave an honest review on at least one platform.
You get:
• Final digital copy
• Your name listed as an early reviewer
• Access to promo graphics you can share if you want
• Optional Q and A email with me after launch
Street Team
You help amplify. Sharing posts, boosting drops, nudging other readers. Low pressure, high impact. You’ll make posts prior to book launch & also post launch.
You get:
• Sneak peek excerpts
• Street team only wallpapers or digital art
• Name in the digital acknowledgments
• The chance to win a physical gift for outstanding team players.
If you want to be part of these groups, email me or complete the sign-up form. I’m keeping it simple.
More about the WIP
This piece is the heart of what I’m writing now. It blends hallucination, romance, rot, body-electricity, and all the strange cycles we call connection. Think sensory overload, think whispered illusions, think those little narrative pages where reality slips sideways. The full chapbook is coming along, poem by poem, story by story, and monster by monster.
Open Collabs
Voices for the Voiceless:
The Joy They can’t Erase :
Both community collaborations are getting extended timelines so the full emotional feel can land. No rush. Just creation.
Free Minority Manuscript Publishing Spot
I’m keeping one slot open at all times for a minority creator who needs their manuscript brought to life. First come, first served. No cost, no gate keeping, just support. We currently don’t charge for publishing at all and do not offer it outside this spot.
Feel free to email me @ poeaxtry@gmail.com and I’ll reply with the details.
Facebook Giveaway
When the page hits 1k followers, I’m giving away:
• All 9 digital collections to the grand prize winner
• Three runner ups get one mystery digital collection each
Four winners total.
Details on Facebook, but I’ll announce it here when we’re close. Instagram & other socials get the same giveaway when they reach 1k. More for higher amounts as well!
A half-volume. A moment to pause, breathe, and catch you up between the big drops.
If you missed the last one, Volume 9 was all about Revolt, Solo zines, Collabs, and getting our bodies into motion particularly in nature aka hiking. And now Volume 9.5 picks up where that energy left off.
📚 Kindle Unlimited + Poeaxtry Publications
Just in case you missed it or forgot…
All 3 of my self-published eBooks plus my full prompt journal with poems written to every single prompt are available on Kindle Unlimited.
✨ Subscribers can read them all free with their membership.
Each piece is its own reflection, rooted in resistance, softness, and persistence, poetry that walks through the same dirt paths I do.
📖 Titles currently live on Kindle Unlimited:
“Beginnings & Endings”
“Because I was Prompted”
“Ramblings of the Lost and Found”
“I like to read; you like to watch the life drain out of a person.”
🚨 Zines aren’t on Kindle Unlimited… yet.
You can still find every zine and eBook digitally on Etsy, Gumroad, and Payhip with more platforms coming soon… as I expand The Prism’s reach.
💌 Not a KU subscriber? No worries.
You can request free access to read any of my solo Poeaxtry Poetry Prism publications — all I ask in return is an honest review. Fill the form out here or email me at poeaxtry@gmail.com for any questions or concerns.
💎 New Creations from the Workbench
Between edits, submissions, and hikes, I’ve been busy in the studio. And I finally upgraded my jewelry designs.
The new bales I ordered changed everything: now, each piece dangles freely, no longer cradled by a “ball”. It’s just the stone, the metal, the magic. Though you can still get the stones with the balls & still be able to change stones out. There’s just two options now instead of one!
They move, catch the light differently, and feel more alive. That on theme with the rest of what’s changing around here.
Keep an eye out for new listings of stone necklaces and keychains soon on Etsy or Locally at Frogwood Boardshop in Heath, Ohio.
🌿 Trails, Edges, and Inspiration
My most recent hike took me all the way to The Edge of Appalachia preserve. A place that felt like standing in two worlds at once.
The silence out there writes its own poems if you listen long enough.
There’s something about dirt, stone, and distance that sharpens your creative edges. At least for me it does.
That trip brought a lot of clarity, and maybe even sparked the next adventure… we’ll see.
Oh and expect a surprise zine and/or ebook drop sometime. I am honestly, sitting on a few completely finished just waiting for me to give in and, give them to you.
✍️ 15 Poems & a Manuscript Out in the World
For the first time in a while, I submitted 15 poems to publications outside my own press. And for the first time ever I submitted an entire manuscript. Fingers crossed🤞🏻
It’s nerve-wracking, grounding, and freeing. Somehow all at once.
Every “submit” click is another way of saying, I still believe in this.
📢 Collabs Still Open
Both of the following collabs are still live and accepting submissions:
💬 Voices for the Voiceless — for marginalized creators and allies speaking on silenced or stolen narratives.
🌈 The Joy They Can’t Erase — a collection centered on joy, resistance, and unapologetic presence from gender nonconformist voices and allies.
You can always find details and submission links through The Prism hub or my links.
💬
This little half-volume is a pulse check. The proof that even between the “big” releases, there’s always movement here.
New work, new stones, new trails new seasons, and new stories.
I am still creating, still showing up, still loud where silence used to live, and even more unapologetic about it.
A Heartfelt Tradition: Crafting the Spooky Anniversary Basket
Each year, I commemorate our first date by creating a unique, spooky-themed flower arrangement for Kelsey. This tradition began four years ago and has since become a cherished ritual. For this anniversary, I curated a book basket of items that blend our shared love for Halloween.
Nightmare Before Christmas Pajama Set: A cozy nod to one of their favorite films A Matching Socks and Slippers: To keep their feet warm during the chilly autumn nights. Sensory Squishies: Including squishy eyeballs, cats, and pumpkins, adding a playful touch to the flowers and boo basket. Handcrafted Basket for flowers: Painted with red spray dye to mimic dripping blood, adorned with roses, sunflowers, and strategically placed squishies, all draped in faux spiderwebs.
This basket isn’t just a gift; it’s a manifestation of my love, a tangible expression of our journey together.
Shadow trail hearts
A Scenic Hike: Exploring the Ohio Canal Greenway
After kelso went through the basket, we embarked on a hike along the Ohio Canal Greenway in Hebron. This 3.0-mile trail, starting at Canal Park and extending to State Route 79, offers a serene walk through shaded paths bordered by farm fields and remnants of the historic Ohio and Erie Canal .
Our walk led us to a picturesque covered bridge, a highlight of the trail, where we paused to reflect and enjoy the tranquility of the surroundings. The hike was not just a physical journey but a metaphor for our relationship: steady, enduring, and beautiful.
Autumn Traditions: Dupler’s Pumpkin Land
No anniversary celebration is complete without a visit to Dupler’s Pumpkin Land in Newark. This local gem, located at 5766 Jacksontown Road, has been a part of our fall traditions for the past four years .
At Dupler’s, we handpicked a variety of pumpkins and gourds, including one unique pink and blue one, and gathered squash to decorate our home. The farm also boasts attractions like a corn maze, wagon rides, and a haunted room, making it a fun-filled experience for all ages .
They also have emus! You can hand feed them! Each year Kelso and I giggle and squeal as we try to hand feed the dinosaurs with feathers and get scared. But this year I fed both! They both bit me! And it doesn’t even hurt! Plus I got it all on video!
Crafting Memories: Handmade Jewelry and Reflective Moments
Returning home, I channeled the day’s inspiration into creating handmade necklaces. These pieces, crafted from the rocks I just finished polishing from Lake Erie include polished fossils, granites, quartz, and more!
As I worked, I reflected on the journey we’ve share. All the challenges, the growth, and the unwavering support. Each necklace will be available on Etsy shortly!
A Day to Remember
This anniversary wasn’t just about celebrating the past; it was about cherishing the present and looking forward to the future. From the thoughtful basket to the scenic hike, the pumpkin patch adventures, and the creative endeavors, every moment was a testament to our love and shared passions.
As we continue to build our life together, I am reminded of the importance of tradition, creativity, and the simple joys that make our relationship unique. What is a tradition you love doing in your relationship? Tell me about it in the comments here or write a post on your blog and tag me!
National Coming Out Day isn’t just about one announcement. It’s about every version of ourselves we’ve had to reintroduce to the world and to ourselves.
This is Part 2 of my coming out story. The first time, I came out as a lesbian. This time, I came out as me.
The Second Time Someone Saw It Before I Did
I was 19 when I met an out trans man for the first time. It was at a wedding, and he came up to me like he already knew something I didn’t.
He said, “Oh my god, it’s so cool to meet someone like us in public.”
I glitched. I remember thinking, What does he mean, “like us”? I didn’t think he was right, but I also couldn’t stop thinking about it. I wasn’t aware he was trans I just saw a cis man and I was so confused.
It was one of those moments that doesn’t make sense until years later.
The Quiet Realization
Fast forward to when I was 21. I was in an online community space surrounded. This man was filming a Q&A video, answering random questions, when it just… hit.
I started asking the influencer questions about t and transitioning etc.
And I thought, Wait a minute. Maybe that guy was trans at the wedding.
I laughed it off at first. Said thing to myself like, “No, bro.” But, Deep down, I knew something had shifted.
That’s when I realized: I wasn’t a lesbian who looked masculine. I was a trans man who had finally found the words for what had always been there.
Transition and Transformation
At the time, I was in a long-term relationship with a lesbian partner. I didn’t say anything right away. I didn’t feel like I had the space to explain myself.
My identity wasn’t up for debate, and it didn’t need validation to be real.
A little while later, I moved to Las Vegas, started testosterone, and began living fully as myself. Two years after that, I got top surgery.
Now, I’ve been on T for almost 11 years, and post-op for nearly 9.
No spectacle. No huge reveal.
I just made a post, changed my name everywhere, and kept living.
Coming out as a trans man wasn’t some cinematic event. It was quiet, steady, necessary.
It was me updating my social media, me existing without apology, me living a truth that had been simmering under the surface since long before I even had the language for it.
Every year on National Coming Out Day, I think back to both moments. To the young girl who came out as a lesbian, and the man who came out as himself.
Both were acts of courage. Both were survival. Both were me.
Coming out isn’t a one-time performance. It’s a lifetime of peeling back layers until you recognize yourself: fully, completely, without shame.
I came out twice.
Once for who I loved.
Once for who I am.
And both times, I chose to live.
Because that’s what coming out really is. It is choosing life, truth, and freedom, again and again.
In eighth grade, I told my best friend at the time that I had to tell her something. Before I could even say it, she looked at me and said, “What, you like girls?”
No duh, me too.
That moment was my quiet entry into honesty. It was not a big speech, not a dramatic scene, just truth spoken aloud. I told a few other friends. Most didn’t care, one freaked out a little. You know, the classic “ew, we slept in the same bed!?” comment. In my usual fashion, I just told her, “Yeah, no shit. Doesn’t mean it was anything weird. Just because I’m gay doesn’t mean I’m into all girls.”
It wasn’t some grand parade or rainbow banner moment. I just stopped hiding it from all my homies.
High School and Small Town Silence
I grew up in small-ass Martins Ferry, Ohio. A tiny town, tight gossip circles, everyone knowing everyone’s business. I graduated in 2010, and there were maybe three out lesbians in my class. The rest were “straight in public” or “hush-hush about it.”
I wasn’t loud about my sexuality in high school. But the moment I was no longer a student, I made my Facebook and MySpace say “interested in women.” No more hiding, no more pretending. Just existing.
Family Reactions and Reality Checks
My mom’s best friend was a lesbian who came out in the early 1980s, so she didn’t have much to say beyond not wanting it “broadcasted” to my little sisters. They were nine at the time. But my younger cousins told them. It wasn’t like they knew better.
One sister said she didn’t care. The other said “ew,” but she got over it fast enough. Kids echo what they hear. And they learn what we show them.
But there was one adult man, a friend of my mom’s. He was much older than me, always joking that he’d “take me on a date when I turned 18.” Everyone would laugh like it was harmless. I knew it wasn’t.
Sure enough, once I turned 18, he messaged me on Facebook asking me out. I told him, “Dude, I’m with my girlfriend. I’m gay.”
He flipped out, said I “lied” instead of just saying no. But I wasn’t lying. I was telling the truth, my truth. But he just couldn’t handle it.
Looking Back on Coming Out
Back then, coming out wasn’t about attention or pride flags. It was about not lying anymore. It was survival in small-town Ohio. And being honest even if nobody clapped for it.
When I think about National Coming Out Day, I think about that moment in eighth grade. The one where I said, “Yeah, I like girls.” I think about every time after that when I had to say it again. Whether that was to friends, to family, to strangers who thought they had a say in it.
This is Part 1 of my story… the first step in a much longer journey.
Part 2 will come later today. It’s about when I came out again, not as a lesbian.
Because coming out isn’t one moment. It’s a lifetime of moments: each one a little braver, a little louder, a little more you.
Today, on National Coming Out Day, I remember that younger version of me. Who was scared, quiet, and honest anyway. The one who chose quiet truth in small towns where everyone knew your name.
I came out as a lesbian first. I came out as myself second. Both are chapters worth telling. Both matter.
Because every story of coming out whether it’s whispered, shouted, or written down… reminds someone else they’re not alone.
Dave Chappelle, is a renowned comedian. He is known for his sharp wit and controversial humor. This has been cause for him facing significant backlash for his repeated transphobic remarks in recent years. Here I will delve into specific instances where Chappelle’s comments have been deemed harmful to the transgender community, supported by facts and reactions from various organizations and individuals.
“The Closer” (2021) – A Stand-Up Special Under Fire
In his 2021 Netflix special, The Closer, Chappelle made several statements that many perceived as transphobic. Notably, he declared himself “Team TERF” (Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminist), aligning himself with author J.K. Rowling, who has been criticized for her anti-transgender views. Chappelle’s comment, “They canceled J.K. Rowling… my God. Effectually she said gender was fact, the trans community got mad as shit, they started calling her a TERF … I’m team TERF,” drew immediate criticism from LGBTQ+ advocacy groups and allies. GLAAD and the Human Rights Campaign condemned the special, and Jaclyn Moore, a transgender writer and showrunner for Netflix series Dear White People and Queer as Folk, announced she would no longer work with the company.
“The Dreamer” (2023) – Continued Transphobic Content:
Chappelle’s 2023 Netflix special, The Dreamer , further perpetuated transphobic narratives. The special included extended segments mocking transgender individuals, with some jokes lasting up to 12 minutes. Critics argued that these remarks continued Chappelle’s pattern of “punching down” on marginalized communities, particularly transgender people. The Conversation described Chappelle as an “egalitarian bully” who continues to target the transgender community.
Public Defenses of Transphobic Content:
In response to the backlash from The Closer, Chappelle addressed the controversy by appearing to blame the transgender community. He suggested that their reactions were the cause of the ongoing discussions about his remarks, rather than acknowledging the potential harm caused by his words.
Chappelle’s comments have not gone unnoticed within the entertainment industry. Following the release of The Closer, several Netflix employees, including transgender individuals, organized a walkout to protest the company’s decision to continue streaming the special. They demanded that Netflix take a stronger stance against content that perpetuates transphobia.
Additionally, comedian Michelle Buteau criticized Chappelle’s recurring anti-transgender jokes, labeling them as “dangerous” and emphasizing the importance of comedy that does not harm specific communities.
Dave Chappelle’s repeated transphobic remarks, particularly in his Netflix specials The Closer and The Dreamer, have sparked widespread criticism from LGBTQ+ advocacy groups, fellow comedians, and industry professionals. These instances highlight the ongoing challenges faced by the transgender community in combating harmful stereotypes and the responsibility of public figures to be mindful of the impact their words can have on marginalized groups.
