Tag: gender identity

  • Anonymous Aaron: A Short Story About Identity, Silence, and Forced Becoming

    Anonymous Aaron: A Short Story About Identity, Silence, and Forced Becoming


    This piece is the first of ten short stories. I will share these periodically across my platforms, including WordPress, Substack, Wattpad, and other publishing spaces. Each story in this series stands alone, but together they form a broader examination of the systems that shape us. These works are released intentionally over time, allowing space for reflection rather than consumption. This series blends literary fiction with social commentary. Here I spend time focusing on lived experience, psychological impact, and the long shadow of decisions made for us. New entries will be published as they are completed.



    Blurb

    The story follows Aaron, who was born a healthy biological girl. Just to be immediately assigned a male identity by her parents and doctors. In this society, a child’s body is treated as a “public object” to be shaped and corrected by others. When Aaron reaches puberty, described as a “blood-red warning siren,” he is placed on hormone blockers to prevent him from developing into a woman.


    Anonymous Aaron

    Aaron was born on an uneventful morning. The air carried the smells of lemon disinfectant and rain-soaked Las Vegas asphalt. A healthy baby girl, the doctor would have said. He would have been pleased with the symmetry of her limbs, the steady thump of her heart, and the decibel her shriek could reach. Her mother cried, and her father laughed too loud. They chose the name Aaron respectfully. Names were not meant to make sense in this world until later in life. So Aaron, the healthy boy, was born, though boy was already a stretch.

    They wrapped him in a blue blanket and told him he was perfect, at least for the time being.

    The photos would later show a calm baby, eyes open, unfocused, already tuned into something deeper beyond the love in the room. Aaron would never remember the warmth of that blanket or the way hands passed him around like proof of success. What stayed, buried deep and wordless, was the first lesson of his life. His body was a public object. It would be shaped, discussed, corrected, and inevitably made into what they wanted it to be.

    Puberty arrived like a blood-red warning siren.

    A single pimple at first, angry and bright on his chin. Then another. Leg hair darkening, spreading in thin lines that felt illicit, something to hide. His chest stayed flat, his voice stayed level, until one red drip from between his legs met the cotton lamb chop character briefs he still wore. The signs were enough.

    The nurse smiled too hard when she called Aaron’s name. His parents sat straighter.

    The first dose of hormone blockers came in a white room that smelled faintly of lemon, eerily similar to the day of his birth. Aaron was told this was kindness. A pause button. A gift. A way to prevent him from becoming something unacceptable. His mother squeezed his hand and asked if he was excited. His father nodded as if excitement were mandatory, like consent was already signed.

    Aaron said yes, of course.

    Inside his head, there was only stillness. No sense of rescue. No feeling of alignment. Just the quiet knowledge that nothing about his body had ever felt wrong until the world began insisting that it was. He liked the way his legs carried him. He liked the way he played with makeup in secret. Likewise, he liked the softness of himself, unaltered and intact.

    But liking it was dangerous, not allowed, even illegal.

    He learned quickly to perform relief. To thank doctors. To rehearse lines about dysphoria he did not feel. Silence became survival. Every unspoken thought was folded smaller and smaller until it fit behind his ribs, where breasts would never be allowed to bud. The world always called Aaron, him, and he did not correct them. At first, he did not even understand the concept of not being transgender. Correcting meant punishment.

    Time skipped forward the way it does when nothing belongs to you.

    At seventeen, Aaron’s mother drove him to the spa where they checked in the night before his eighteenth birthday. The building was all soft lighting and stone floors. Water murmured behind the walls like something alive. It was dubbed a “wellness retreat.” Aaron was handed a robe, a schedule, and congratulations on becoming a man. He barely managed not to scoff at the final “gift”.

    The bed was too clean. The sheets were tucked tight enough to trap him.

    He lay awake, staring at the ceiling, listening to his breath. Tomorrow his female body would be permanently altered. Tomorrow the performance would become irreversible. He thought about the acne that never got worse, and the leg hair that never spread the way it wanted to. He thought about the mirror, about how familiar his reflection still was, and mourned how briefly he had been allowed to know the her he felt he was meant to be.

    Excitement would be painted painfully on his face in the morning.

    For now, horror sat quietly with him in the dark.

    He pressed his hand to his chest, feeling the steady beat that had been praised at birth, never once defective, never once confused.

    And in the silence of his mind, he finally admitted what he had always known.

    He was cisgender.

    He was a girl being forced to become a man in a world where refusing transition was the only unforgivable thing.

    The anesthesiologist walked him through counting backward from one hundred.

    One hundred.

    Ninety-nine.

    Ninety-eight.

    Ninety-seven.

    Aaron drifted off just as he pictured himself in a dress for the first time.


    Before you leave-

    Thank you for reading this first story in the series. I hope Aaron’s journey gave you pause, stirred thought, or echoed something within your experience. More stories will be released periodically across WordPress, Substack, Wattpad, and other platforms. These will each explore the pressures that shape us. Follow along, and check back soon to continue the series. There is more to come.


    Comment below and tell me what you think about my first short story. How would you feel if you lived in Aaron’s world? Does this make you view body autonomy a little differently?
    Consider sharing with someone you think would enjoy reading my first short thriller in my upcoming free-to-read collection, “The Scars of Fitting In: A Collection of Short Psychological Thrillers.


    Check out all Poeaxtry Links!

  • Part Two- National Coming Out Day Reflection

    Part Two- National Coming Out Day Reflection

    The Second Coming Out

    National Coming Out Day isn’t just about one announcement. It’s about every version of ourselves we’ve had to reintroduce to the world and to ourselves.

    This is Part 2 of my coming out story. The first time, I came out as a lesbian. This time, I came out as me.

    The Second Time Someone Saw It Before I Did

    I was 19 when I met an out trans man for the first time. It was at a wedding, and he came up to me like he already knew something I didn’t.

    He said, “Oh my god, it’s so cool to meet someone like us in public.”

    I glitched. I remember thinking, What does he mean, “like us”? I didn’t think he was right, but I also couldn’t stop thinking about it. I wasn’t aware he was trans I just saw a cis man and I was so confused.

    It was one of those moments that doesn’t make sense until years later.

    The Quiet Realization

    Fast forward to when I was 21. I was in an online community space surrounded. This man was filming a Q&A video, answering random questions, when it just… hit.

    I started asking the influencer questions about t and transitioning etc.

    And I thought, Wait a minute. Maybe that guy was trans at the wedding.

    I laughed it off at first. Said thing to myself like, “No, bro.” But, Deep down, I knew something had shifted.

    That’s when I realized: I wasn’t a lesbian who looked masculine. I was a trans man who had finally found the words for what had always been there.

    Transition and Transformation

    At the time, I was in a long-term relationship with a lesbian partner. I didn’t say anything right away. I didn’t feel like I had the space to explain myself.

    My identity wasn’t up for debate, and it didn’t need validation to be real.

    A little while later, I moved to Las Vegas, started testosterone, and began living fully as myself. Two years after that, I got top surgery.

    Now, I’ve been on T for almost 11 years, and post-op for nearly 9.

    No spectacle. No huge reveal.

    I just made a post, changed my name everywhere, and kept living.

    Coming out as a trans man wasn’t some cinematic event. It was quiet, steady, necessary.

    It was me updating my social media, me existing without apology, me living a truth that had been simmering under the surface since long before I even had the language for it.

    Every year on National Coming Out Day, I think back to both moments. To the young girl who came out as a lesbian, and the man who came out as himself.

    Both were acts of courage. Both were survival. Both were me.

    Coming out isn’t a one-time performance. It’s a lifetime of peeling back layers until you recognize yourself: fully, completely, without shame.

    I came out twice.

    Once for who I loved.

    Once for who I am.

    And both times, I chose to live.

    Because that’s what coming out really is. It is choosing life, truth, and freedom, again and again.

    A man and his first chest binder
    A man and his first chest binder

    Poeaxtry links portfolio Poetizer

  • A Thousand Times: A Poetic Reflection on Growth and Self-Discovery

    A Thousand Times: A Poetic Reflection on Growth and Self-Discovery

    This poem, “A Thousand Times,” is a heartfelt reflection on personal growth, identity, and the journey of self-discovery. It explores the desire to reach back in time to encourage your younger self while celebrating the resilience and courage it takes to embrace who you truly are.

    “A Thousand Times”

    Brave girl, you have a beautiful
    soul…
    brave little girl

    y
    o
    u

    are worth far more than you know
    and oh,
    the places you will go

    I have wished a thousand
    times
    for the ability to travel back in
    time

    to let you know

    that w
    e

    Made it.

    You just had to give life a try.

    Oh,

    And…

    Realize that you’re a guy.

    That,

    was always enough.

    A Thousand Times encourages readers to reflect on their own journeys of self-discovery and resilience. It’s a reminder that embracing identity, learning to trust oneself, and recognizing your worth are victories worth celebrating. This poem is both an homage to the past and a celebration of the present, highlighting the strength it takes to grow and accept oneself fully.

    Poeaxtry Links

    Another poem

    Poems

  • Joe Rogan and Transphobia: How His Platform Amplifies Harmful Narratives

    Joe Rogan and Transphobia: How His Platform Amplifies Harmful Narratives

    Joe Rogan, one of the most influential podcasters in the world, has repeatedly used his platform to promote harmful ideas about transgender people. While some of his commentary may appear casual or comedic, the cumulative effect of his words perpetuates misinformation and stigmatizes a community already facing high levels of discrimination.

    Rogan has publicly misgendered prominent trans figures, including Caitlyn Jenner, suggesting that her transition is more performative than authentic. He has hosted guests like Abigail Shrier, whose controversial book Irreversible Damage promotes the debunked theory of “rapid-onset gender dysphoria,” framing trans youth as victims of social contagion rather than individuals with valid experiences of gender dysphoria. By amplifying these perspectives without critical challenge, Rogan normalizes skepticism and hostility toward trans identities.

    Sports have also been a recurring theme in Rogan’s rhetoric. His comments on transgender athletes such as Fallon Fox and Lia Thomas frame their participation as inherently unfair, emphasizing biological differences in a way that dismisses the reality of trans athletes’ lived experiences and the inclusive policies many organizations employ. These remarks reinforce the false narrative that trans people are threats to cisgender norms rather than competitors on equal footing.

    Beyond interviews, Rogan’s own material often veers into transphobic humor. His Netflix special Burn the Boats included jokes that mocked transgender people, contributing to a culture that trivializes their existence and struggles. Even seemingly absurd claims, like the debunked “litter box in schools” rumor, have been repeated by Rogan, giving them credibility in the eyes of his massive audience.

    The impact of such commentary is not hypothetical. Public figures with massive reach have a measurable influence on social attitudes, and when misinformation is normalized on platforms like The Joe Rogan Experience, it can fuel legislation that restricts trans rights, embolden harassment, and create hostile environments in schools and workplaces.

    Holding influencers accountable is not about silencing opinions… it’s about recognizing the power that comes with a platform and the real-world consequences of amplifying harmful narratives. For Rogan, casual dismissal or mockery of trans experiences contributes to a broader pattern of marginalization, one that demands critical scrutiny rather than passive consumption.

    Links

  • “You Make Me Sick” Spoken Word on Trauma, Transition, and Grief

    “You Make Me Sick” Spoken Word on Trauma, Transition, and Grief

    “You make me sick”

    An original poem by : Axton N.O. Mitchell

    @poeaxtry_

    I mean I am thirty three, 

    One would assume it’s about time I get over my chronic case of 

    Teenage angst. 

    I am not even sure if I could 

    Call it that, anymore. 

    Pick your face up off the floor 

    Your oldest so became a man

    And 

    You never had to hold my hand 

    I wasn’t potty training until 9 

    You never had to lie about my 

    Age to hide the statutory 

    Rape

    But

    I would say that I hate you 

    and I do 

    Repeat that pretty frequently

    It’s easier than explaining the

    Nothingness I feel  when it

    Comes to you

     

    I  won’t let anymore of the  

    Daughter you never got to knows

    Tears fall out of your oldest 

    sons eyes

    They aren’t mine to cry. 

    In high school I struggled 

    When the numb feeling would 

    Overcome me 

    And everything. 

    For once I feel nothing, and I don’t

    Want to feel anything. 

    It’s comforting. 

    Back then

    I did not yet discover 

    My brain had the ick 

    And it was you that 

    Made me 

    S

    I

    C

    K


    Links Poem Hiking


  • The Layers of Me: Girlhood, Survival, and Becoming a Man

    The Layers of Me: Girlhood, Survival, and Becoming a Man


    “Never the Enemy”

    by Axton N. O. Mitchell

    Raised

    I was raised a girl. That’s how the world saw me. That’s what I was told to be. A little girl with crooked pigtails m, buck teeth, and scraped-up knees. She didn’t like being touched. She didn’t like being stared at. She never liked how the world made her feel.

    Taught

    She was taught to smile. Not because of happiness, it was just safer. She learned to laugh off the gross comments much before she could read chapter books. She learned how to keep a boy from following her home. How to hold keys and lighters in her balled up fist.I know that just existing in a body the world called “girl” comes with a constant background noise of threat.

    Assaulted

    I was assaulted, as a little girl, as a teen, and as a man. A few years after passing the awkward transition phases; I was  years on hormones. A woman I was dating at the time liked to get me drunk enough to forget. Not that I want to but, it’s worth mentioning I never  remembered one single time. She told me it was easier that way. Then the used up it’s me not you. 

    Myth

    There’s this myth that once you transition, it all goes away. As if you can flip a switch, cut your hair, change your name, and suddenly be safe. As if I am suddenly respected. Erasing my trauma from living as a girl as if it doesn’t  stick to me. My second skin. Even after the world starts seeing you differently, it doesn’t mean it treats you right. If you  don’t “pass” all the time. Especially when you live in small-town maga country .

    Now, I get called “sir” until certain people get told, because no they can’t tell. The people that claim they “are my friends” say “she” behind my back as soon as they get mad at me. However, the flip side is worse for me. Now these people assume I’m one of them. Racist comments. Sexist jokes. Homophobia. Trans baby conspiracies.Assuming I’m a good ol’ boy. I was never meant to become the enemy. When I out myself they stop treating like the man I am. The privilege stops when I defend someone. I won’t close my mouth to save my neck. 

    Remember

    Remember not all men started the same. Some of us became men on purpose. With intention. With pain. With joy, too. But it wasn’t simple. And it wasn’t fast.

    In my late teens and early twenty’s, I thought I was a lesbian. I wasn’t pretending. I wasn’t confused. That label made sense for a while. I liked girls. I never felt like one, I tried to. I didn’t have the words to explain, but I was a man.  Not a phase, I just hadn’t fully found the truth. I have lesbian memories. I have lesbian trauma. I have lesbian experiences. That doesn’t go away just because I’m a man. Identity isn’t always a clean line. I’m a transgender man, and I lived as a lesbian. I survived as a girl. I became someone else and stayed alive.

    Yearn

     I yearn to be read. I want my work to move people who’ve never been seen. People that never had a place at the table. I’m not wasting time trying to win over systems that ignore us. I’m going to carve us something new. Each project I curate is rooted in the belief that all minority stories deserve to be told in our own voices.

     I want people to remember and know that minorities don’t just die. We live. We laugh. We have favorite songs. We have poetry in our blood and grief in our bones.

    I write because I won’t be erased. I write because I’m still here. I want to make sure no one else feels like they have to disappear just to be seen.


    Support the work that feeds, steadies, and teaches! Consider a donation via CashApp, PayPal, Ko-Fi, or Buy Me a Coffee. Thuis will keep the projects and community alive.


    Links Poetizer discord
    Poem


  • If I Had to Change My Name Again — A Trans Man Reflects on Identity

    If I Had to Change My Name Again — A Trans Man Reflects on Identity


    If you had to change your name, what would your new name be?

    I already changed my name, legally, spiritually, emotionally. I changed it with a trembling hand and a voice steadier than it had ever been before. The boy who lived beneath years of being called the wrong name he is why I changed my name. I changed it for the person I became, and the one I’m still becoming. Changing it was never just about paperwork. It was the exhalation after holding my breath for two decades and two-years. It was stepping into my own skin without apology.

    So the idea of changing it again… it hits different. There’s resistance there. I chose this name. Axton, like a sword off the wall, like a stone I’d polished myself. It fits the weight of me. It sharpens my edges. Axton belongs to me in a way nothing ever did before.

    But if I had to change it? If some strange force or alternate life demanded a new label for my soul. Maybe something natural and weightless, like Lief, a name that drifts like wind through leaves, soft but certain. The type of name whispered in the dark and meant to be remembered. Names with strength wrapped in stillness, with calm in their bones. Names that grow quietly, like roots reaching deep beneath the surface.

    Or maybe I’d lean into the names I already carry in my middle spaces. Names no one sees unless I let them. That’s the funny thing about being trans, we become archivists of all the names we’ve worn. Some we buried. Some we still wear close to the skin, even if we don’t speak them aloud.

    There’s no name that would ever feel exactly like the one I already chose. Axton is stitched into my story. It’s the signature I sign under every poem. Every spell. The endless love letter to this life I’ve clawed my way into carry the signature.

    So sure, I technically it is possible to find another. But it would never be the same home.


    links portfolio hiking

  • Becoming Axton: A Journey from Arielle to Authentic Self

    Becoming Axton: A Journey from Arielle to Authentic Self


    I used to flinch at the sound of that name.

    Arielle.
    Not just because it wasn’t mine anymore. The name carried a lot. That name was a suit of skin I never chose, sewn with expectations I never fit into. People loved her, or thought they did. She was sweet, she was obedient, she was the smile in photos that made everyone else comfortable. But she was also quiet because she had to be. She hid everything—grief, anger, queerness, gender—deep enough that even she forgot how much was buried.

    That name.

    Arielle was the name in my dad’s voice when he needed someone to blame. The name on cards from my mom when she didn’t know how to see me. It was the name teachers praised. Pastors prayed over it. Strangers misgendered it. Sisters protected the name even when I didn’t know how to protect myself. It was all sharp edges and a mask I wore so long it felt like skin.

    I’m not her. I never was.

    Still, I won’t pretend she didn’t exist. Arielle got me here. She survived what I shouldn’t have had to. She wrote poems in secret, carved hope into notebook margins, and stayed alive when everything said not to. She was the ghost I outgrew, the beginning of me.

    There were days Arielle felt like a shadow dragging behind me. I was always a step out of reach, but never gone. I wrestled with her silence. Struggled with the parts of myself I was afraid to look at. Then hid the truth behind a name that wasn’t mine. But with every poem I wrote, every truth I told, I felt her loosen her grip. Not because I abandoned her, but because I learned to carry her differently.

    Axton writes to walk her home.

    Now, when I write, I don’t write to erase her. I write to hold her hand and walk her home.

    This is why I write. Not for closure, but connection.

    Not to silence Arielle, but to let her rest.

    And in her place, I stand. Alive. Whole. Still writing.

    Every word is a step forward. Every poem, reclaiming. Every breath, a nod to the person I was always underneath it all.


    links Beta/ Arc Readers & St Teams A Poem


  • Carrying the Unspoken: A Trans Man’s Journal on Loss, Love, and Survival

    Carrying the Unspoken: A Trans Man’s Journal on Loss, Love, and Survival


    “I still carry the sound of your promises that never made it past your teeth.”

    -Axton N.O. Mitchell

    Hi Jake.

    I know I swore I let go of all this shit.
    All of you.
    But I still carry the sound of promises that never made it past your teeth.

    Dad
    the disappearing act that always came with excuses,
    the birthdays you ghosted like it was a tradition.
    The ball games, the plays, the sick days, you’d call for them all big or small.
    I carry the echo of your words:
    I’ll be there this time.
    You never were.

    I miss you Momma!

    I carry the way Mom said my name
    right before everything stopped.
    Eight days before I turned 30, my sisters both not even 21. She stopped existing in a world that never deserved her.
    I still talk to her like she can hear me.
    They did teach us energy gets replaced it never leaves.
    Maybe that’s the part I haven’t let go of.
    I doubt I have let go of much but her physically.
    Maybe that’s the part I never should let go.
    I won’t. I can’t let more of her slip away. She falls through the cracks between my fingers as I pretend. I was definitely not crying again. Not that anyone asked.

    I’m the Problem, so They must be the Reason.

    I carry the weight of being told I make people miserable,
    like I’m a curse wrapped in skin.
    The way an ex said I’d ruin everything I touched the opposite of that king Midas, I think. I don’t remember, but as a kid, my mom would read me a book. It was about a king who turned everything to gold.


    As well as other Ex’s and other things they said they never meant to say… but still said.
    Anyway, for a while, I believed them.
    Because when you hear it often enough,
    it doesn’t sound like abuse anymore.
    It sounds like proof.

    The Demons they Left behind

    And honestly, if I’m being real, it still does when the demon bpd shows his ass. It’s way further apart than it was known to be in history but I’m still clearly sore in many places. I don’t like to talk directly about that shit.
    It’s hard when the person you talked to the only one is located on your shelf in an urn. What a joke.
    The weight of all this is sometimes enough to drown me, I fear.

    Those People who left When Axton stopped Hiding


    The people who said they loved me
    until I came-out, found me, or loved me.
    I chose a name that fit, and they couldn’t try to call me it.
    I started to look like someone they hadn’t imagined. So they didn’t come around and get used to me as I changed. They decided it was better to walk away.


    I carry the silence that followed coming out,
    the way their love had fine print and conditions. That I didn’t see until I bled through it, of fucking course.
    They loved the version of me I had to bury.
    But I didn’t die with her, she was always a shield for a boy too weak to exist. You just knew him by a different name and set of pronouns.


    I became something more. I was lonelier at first. Fresh out of my shell. I found my tribe, and the more, I grow the louder I am about equality for everyone.
    That scares them,
    so, it is theirs to hold.

    I’ve got enough of my own weight to carry.
    And I do.
    Every damn day. I carry all the things I said I had burned.
    The truth is I just folded them up,
    pressed them behind my ribs like a sad collection.
    I still read those letters sometimes.
    They still sting.
    And I can’t do a thing to stop them from opening.

    “Every damn day, I carry all the things I said I had burned. I still read those letters sometimes.”

    -Axton N.O. Mitchell

    Support the work that feeds, steadies, and teaches! Consider a donation via CashApp, PayPal, Ko-Fi, or Buy Me a Coffee. This will help keep the projects and community thriving.


    links feedback Contact, Questions, Concerns?


  • “The Men Who Are Trans” A Poetic Tribute to Trans Masculine Love and Softness💉

    “The Men Who Are Trans” A Poetic Tribute to Trans Masculine Love and Softness💉


    Original Poem by: Axton N. O. Mitchell

    Thank the goddess for men who are
    trans, 
    who will show you exactly how to treat a
    lady.

    The trans men who use their experience
    to fuel the love, they show to you.
    The ones who love just getting to know
    you. 

    Thank the goddess for the men who are
    trans,
    who know what it is like to be hurt at the
    hands of a man who is supposed to love 
    you;

    They use that to dictate everything they
    do involving you. 
    Their own secret map showing exactly
    the way not to love you. 

    Thank the goddess for the men who are
    trans, 
    The ones who really just yearn to hold
    your hand. 

    The simps who brood over you while
    staring at the moon. 
    They forget to text you 
    back while writing verses 
    about their favorite muse
    you.

    Thank the goddess for the men who are trans 
    who have nothing 
    but softness in them
    even though the world rarely 
    shows them in return.   

    Honest footprints are welcome across this page, what did you feel or think?


    links